Nanaville

March 4, 2019
In this wise and endearing book, former New York Times columnist Quindlen (Alternate Sides) addresses the subject of grandparenting, sharing her own experiences and advice. Despite having raised three children, Quindlen admits that as a grandmother, or “Nana”—which she became at age 64—she is “totally green.” She dotes on her toddler grandson, Arthur, and has strong opinions about how he should be raised, yet remains cognizant of her proper place; when it comes to decision-making, she observes, she is neither president nor vice president, but something akin to speaker of the house. She concludes that the grandparent’s role consists not so much of “doing” as “hanging back” and respecting the parents’ choices. The book is filled with Quindlen’s playful sense of humor (if her baby daughter had wanted to sleep upside down “like a bat,” she would have let her), along with thoughtful reflections on how parenting and grandparenting have changed (for instance, fathers are more involved, there’s a lot more baby gear to buy, and more people are living long enough to become grandparents). This heartfelt and delightful work will especially appeal to readers already living within their own versions of “Nanaville.” Agent: Amanda Urban, ICM.

February 15, 2019
A first-time grandmother discovers joy and self-knowledge in her new role.Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist, columnist, and memoirist Quindlen (Alternate Side, 2018, etc.) celebrates the gift of being a grandmother: a new experience, she writes, that gives her "a second chance, to see, to be, to understand the world, to look at it and reimagine my place in it, to feel as though I've made a mark." Besides reporting sweet anecdotes about her toddler grandson, the author reflects on her changing relationship with her son and daughter-in-law, an inevitable shift from being central in the lives of her children to a "peripheral place" in a new family dynamic. Her son, she has observed with pride, has become an exemplary parent; when she asked "what surprised him most about being a father," he replied, "I guess it's how much I love him in a way that I've never loved anyone before." For Quindlen, that reply was "like sunrise and sunset and New Year's Eve all at once." Admitting that she can be opinionated, she has learned to hold her tongue when it comes to parenting decisions. "Nana judgment must be employed judiciously, and exercised carefully," she warns. "Those who make their opinions sound like the Ten Commandments see their grandchildren only on major holidays and in photographs." The author was 64 when her grandson was born; her grandmother was 47 when she had her first grandchild, yet grandparents seemed so much older then: "Our grandmothers were pre-gym, pre-Botox, pre-skinny jeans." They never kissed, hugged, or praised; they would never have gotten down on the floor to play with their dozens of grandchildren, but Quindlen was certain of their love. "I thought," she writes, "they were the patriarchs, the source of all judgment and wisdom." The author imparts sensible advice with self-deprecating humor and sincere gratitude for the bounty of her life.A warmhearted memoir sure to appeal to other new grandmothers--and Quindlen's many fans.

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Starred review from April 1, 2019
There are really only two commandments of Nanaville: love the grandchildren, and hold your tongue. When Quindlen's oldest son becomes a father, Nana, as she now is called, learns quickly that being a grandparent isn't the same as being a parent. Instead of being a star, she now is in a supporting role. Decisions about preschools, discipline, nutrition, and television shows are no longer hers. Instead she must keep her thoughts to herself (unless asked) and sit back and watch her grandchild's life unfold without expectations. But what an honor to do just that. Since her grandson is a product of both Irish-Italian and Chinese parents, Quindlen now views life through different eyes. In a world filled with multiethnic children, she is surprised to hear well-meaning but actually offensive comments by friends (even positive stereotyping is stereotyping). Grandparenting is new territory for this best-selling novelist and beloved former columnist, and as always in her warmly candid nonfiction, Quindlen voices concerns and celebrates high points with sensitivity and insight. As her life fills with unbreakable dishes, scattered Legos, and bite-sized treats, Quindlen savors a shared book, a held hand, a child's laugh, and a relationship built on mutual love and respect. This tender book should be required reading for grandparents everywhere.HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: Quindlen has established a close rapport with readers as she shares her life experiences, and her latest will thrill loyal fans and draw a new audience.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.)