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December 1, 2015
The memoir of a doctor whose addiction derailed his career offers flashes of illumination amid clouds of defensiveness and denial. If there really is a textbook case of a delusional addict, the narrative perspective here could provide that textbook. Early on, Grinspoon admits that "the problem at this point was that I was still blaming everyone and everything else for what I was going through: Work was so stressful, H. was such an unforgiving bitch, and it was exhausting being a parent to two small children." What he was going through was a felony arrest for writing false prescriptions for narcotics to feed his addiction. Work was his role as a primary care physician, one in which he showed little empathy and seemed to receive less satisfaction: "It's not human nature to be that caring all day long." H. is, of course, his wife, and his attitude toward her (and hers toward him) seems harsher as the narrative progresses, though he occasionally admits that being married to a lying, self-sabotaging addict was no walk in the park. Their children ultimately provide more than exhaustion, though being caught between two parents who couldn't stand each other couldn't be much fun for them. Grinspoon never developed much appreciation for the lawyer who navigated his way through rehab, suspension, and a return to the practice of medicine; felt unfairly targeted by drug tests that he knew he couldn't fail but did; and never showed anything but contempt for 12-step programs ("I didn't want anything more to do with AA for the next thousand lifestyles"). The author resents the judgment passed by alcoholics who think they are somehow morally superior to drug addicts, yet he passes judgment on practically everyone the narrative encompasses. His recovery from addiction seems to end on a positive note, but every addict knows that a positive test is just one slip away. Grinspoon's story is instructive, with readers potentially learning more than the author has.

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February 1, 2016

Harvard University-educated physician Grinspoon's first book describes his addiction to prescription painkillers. He describes his childhood, jobs as a young adult, and troubled marriage, and also reflects on his choices and behavior, explaining the origins of his abuse and how he took advantage of the system in order to obtain more pills. The memoir provides an insider's view of the support benefits geared toward health-care professionals who struggle with addiction as well as the ways in which Grinspoon grapples with issues of class and privilege during his visits to court, encounters with his probation officer, and as a member of recovery groups. Once a practicing physician again, he discovers a new skill for identifying and treating addicts such as himself. VERDICT Enlightening and intimate, this book will hold the attention of medical professionals, addiction counselors, and those affected by substance abuse.--Meghan Dowell, Beloit Coll., WI

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