The Happiness Playlist

In this debut memoir, a musician offers a brief meditation on loss and grief, explaining how songs helped heal his heart. Mallman's panic attack started a year and a half after his mother's death in an accident--a delayed reaction. A doctor told him: "Sometimes the brain waits to process a trauma." Nothing seemed to help; even some of his favorite music became "terrifying" to him in its sadness. The author decided to make a "Happiness Playlist" of inspiring and cheerful songs to try to help break him out of his funk. The playlist included Bob Marley, the White Stripes, Pharrell, and Gorillaz. His therapist suggested that he "surround" himself with people who would "lift" him up. A few weeks later, a woman named Annie came into his life. He listened to his playlist nearly exclusively as he battled depression through the fall and winter months, bantering with an eclectic group of friends and artists in the Minneapolis scene and celebrating Thanksgiving at home with his father. Many of the interactions seem slight--going to the mall with Annie; glibly commenting on an art exhibition to his friend Eugene. But it was all done to keep Mallman from dwelling on his mother's death. And it seemed to work. The author's epiphanies are somewhat esoteric, and there is no one moment where he declares victory over sadness. It comes in small bursts, as when he's writing songs: "Make certain to sing through your mouth from your heart, not with your mouth from nowhere." Perhaps as a result of his musical background, his prose also delivers staccato, declarative lines: "The asphalt beneath us is fresh with sleet. It sprays the surrounding cars as we speed by them. My window doesn't close tight. A whistle sings in my left ear. Everywhere is music." While the prose is economical, it can feel terse until the rhythm settles in. Overall, observing Mallman fighting grief feels like watching a fishing bobber battling a strong current. Still, this book should offer solace to anyone grappling with a similar situation. Readers struggling with depression will likely find comfort and solidarity in this account.

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Starred review from May 15, 2019
This book is recommended by BlueInk Review, a fee-based review service devoted exclusively to self-published books. Booklist is happy to partner with BlueInk to bring you the best self-published titles for adults and youth. Stars reflect the decisions of BlueInk reviewers and editors.In this memoir, Minneapolis musician Mallman recounts his grief following his mother's death, a time when he suffered panic attacks, crying jags, and nightmares. A somewhat unfocused daily routine resulted: hanging out in nightclubs, seeing movies, relying on a support network of friends and fellow musicians. The author also made the decision to listen only to happy music to help him recover. As we follow his journey, we grow to like his menagerie of friends?hipsters and street philosophers straight out of central-casting?and to appreciate the author's direct, clipped, and hypnotic writing style: White-noise tinnitus rushes out of my faucet brain. The sound of washing dishes. Strong breezes. Lips that shush the baby. Coming from somewhere beyond the drop ceiling is a swamp of a tune. Mallman never solely credits his playlist for his recovery, but he writes, I can say with great confidence that happy music unsticks the muck from the boot heels. In all, his story suggests that surrounding ourselves with positive reinforcement can help us shed the veils darkening our lives?a lesson we arrive at after this life-affirming, thoroughly enjoyable read.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.)