There I Am

February 1, 2020
A speaker and podcast host chronicles her excruciating battles with chronic pain--and the inability of doctors to properly address it. In the first few chapters of her debut, Unspoken host Lindsey explores her childhood and adolescence as part of a loving Christian family in Louisiana. Though largely undramatic, her experiences are interesting enough to keep the pages turning. She stood apart from her peers in several ways: her stature (at 13, she was "six feet tall and barely a hundred pounds"), determination to remain celibate until marriage, abstinence from alcohol and drugs, and massive popularity at school, where her father was a well-loved principal. The chief attraction of the opening chapters derives from the author's pleasing sentences, evocative of carefree youth. During her senior year in high school, she was in a serious car accident. Though her passenger and the person driving the other vehicle emerged mostly unscathed, Lindsey suffered a crushed spleen as well as a broken neck and ribs that punctured her lungs. At the hospital, doctors estimated a 5% chance of survival and 1% chance of walking again. But the author overcame the odds after spinal surgery. Less than a year later, she graduated on time and left home for college. However, both the physical and psychological pain were relentless--and amply described by Lindsey, which sometimes makes for difficult reading. After years of pain management suggested by physicians, pharmacists, dear friends, and always compassionate family members, the author finally learned the primary medical reason for the unrelenting pain. But the apparent corrective barely helped. For the remainder of the memoir, consistently readable and inspirational, Lindsey keeps readers in suspense about whether she will be able to fully enjoy her life. At the end, the author addresses readers directly and asks them to focus on healing what is broken in their own lives. Illness memoirs from noncelebrities often get lost in the stacks. This one deserves greater attention.

COPYRIGHT(2020) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

February 24, 2020
Podcaster Lindsey shares her story of living with chronic pain in this riveting memoir. Raised in rural Louisiana, Lindsey was a happy child with two brothers in a devout Christian family. Shortly after being named homecoming queen, she suffered serious spinal injuries in a car accident, and was not expected to live. Lindsey underwent surgery, followed by a spinal fusion, and was out of the hospital nearly two months later. But her struggles didn’t end there, as she lived with intense physical pain. A few years later, Lindsey underwent a second surgery and became dependent on opiates. She was buoyed, however, by her family’s support, kicked her addiction, and began to confront her trauma by using social media and her podcasts to help others cope with chronic pain. Lindsey’s prose flows fluidly, and readers will be arrested by her descriptions of dealing with grief and the nature of love (love “is not the throb of my name across a football field but the low, tender call for me across a sterile room”). This inspiring story of a young woman’s personal battle serves as a reminder of human resilience and hope.

March 1, 2020

In her first book, Lindsey (cohost, Unspoken podcast) chronicles the severe chronic pain that dominated her life after she was seriously injured in a car accident. She recounts her struggle to find ways to live a fulfilling life, one that acknowledges the reality of pain but is not debilitated by it. Readers who also live with chronic pain will find a writer whose questions resonate with theirs, as the book is honest about the support required and the emotional costs associated with caring for those living with chronic pain. Lindsey includes stories about her family's support and the difficult end of her first marriage. However, it is disappointing that she often buries her compelling story under inelegant prose that lacks depth and poignancy. VERDICT A sometimes inspiring but overall poorly told story of living with chronic pain.--Aaron Klink, Duke Univ., Durham, NC

Copyright 2020 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

February 15, 2020
Is optimism hard-earned and self-taught? Lindsey's memoir, her first book and a compelling true med mystery, recounts her years of debilitating pain after an accident?she is hit by an ambulance, of all vehicles?at age 17 left her with a five-percent chance of survival and one-percent chance of walking again. Following spinal-fusion surgery, and thanks to her powering-through personality, she walks away from the hospital a month later. She marries Jack, a musician, but terrible pain soon renders her bedridden and dependent on prescription painkillers. Finally, after many tests, a wire from her surgery is found in and removed from her brain stem. Still, she remains in a stoned fog of pain and loneliness with Jack often away on tour. Lindsey, cohost of the podcast Unspoken, holds readers' attention with vibrant prose and candor as she mourns that trying to fix me is the only way anyone can love her, a terrified, medicated, paralyzed . . . ghost. But Lindsey's courage and love of nature eventually help her kick free of the numbing drugs. A harrowing and inspiring tale.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2020, American Library Association.)