What We Didn't Expect

September 15, 2020
Parents share their emotional experiences of preterm births. When her son was born at 29 weeks, journalist Schreiber yearned for stories about how other parents dealt with the frightening, disorienting event. Making her book debut, she collects 17 moving essays from mothers, fathers, and even one man who had been born a preemie. About 10% of babies are born prematurely for a variety of reasons, including preeclampsia (abnormally high blood pressure that threatens both mother and child), multiple births (a majority of twins are born early), and family history. For all the writers, preterm birth, sometimes by C-section, was a shock: Suddenly, they were confronted by a tiny, underdeveloped being who needed around-the-clock monitoring. "The responsibility of caring for someone so fragile and not knowing how long he'd have to be in the NICU alone was weighing heavily on me," writes "a broke, young African American woman who was having her first child hundreds of miles away from her family and who was panicked at the idea of anything less than a perfect birth experience." Some relied on faith to sustain them: "Just as I needed every mind and hand that played a role in caring for her in our tangible world, I needed the divine," writes a mother whose daughter, born at 25 weeks, weighed 1 pound, 13 ounces. While fathers make up a minority of the contributors, their experiences are no less profound than those of mothers, but support could be lacking. "When a baby is born," one father writes, "dads can be overlooked while mothers are showered with attention and praise." Some parents felt overwhelmed by medical technology and the need to master protocols after they and their baby were discharged. When Washington Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal gave birth in Mumbai, India, though, she encountered a hospital with limited resources and knowledge about low-birthweight babies, which inspired her later to help design a comprehensive Medicare for All bill in the U.S. Affecting essays reach out to new and prospective parents.

COPYRIGHT(2020) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

November 2, 2020
Premature birth is given a moving consideration in this rich anthology from journalist Schreiber. Seventeen essays capture the “range of medical and cultural experiences” around premature birth: In “The Other Side,” Sara Cohen, a NICU nurse, writes of her confusion while in labor (“I was not a NICU nurse in that moment. I was a mother in premature labor”); in “An Aunt in Your Corner,” Maria Ramos-Chertok recalls the “paralyzing fear and dread” she felt while visiting her sister’s premature twins, one of whom dies. U.S. Rep. Pramila Jayapal, in “My Cross-Continental Miracle,” describes trying to reach an adequately equipped hospital before the early birth of her child while back in her native India, an experience she calls “one more arrow in my quiver of reasons” to advocate for Medicare for All. Despite the often troubling emotions covered, this collection will predominantly leave readers with a sense of inspiration and gratitude, as summed up by Jayapal when she writes that pain or fear are “usually drowned out by the (mostly) joyful chaos” of life with a new child. Any parent struggling with the fear and uncertainty that can accompany premature birth will find comfort and inspiration. Agent: Eric Smith, PS Literary.

November 1, 2020

When journalist Schreiber faced the premature birth of her own son, among the ten percent of babies born early in the United States, she found herself turning to books. None satisfied her wish for a single source offering shared experiences that a reader could move into and out of as new challenges appeared, each time finding someone's similar personal struggle. The result is this collection of essays by professional writers who have each been touched in some way by prematurity. Most share experiences of shock, fear, helplessness, and guilt, plus challenging interactions with healthcare personnel and with the system as a whole. Also touched on are adoption, LGBTQ issues, being the premature child, multiple births, interactions with relatives and friends, national and international political complications, and bereavement. Contributors freely share the emotions and stress they dealt with, leaving no doubt that the experience is traumatic regardless of the outcome. VERDICT Support groups often provide listening and understanding beyond what professionals can offer. When that sort of personal contact isn't immediately available, a book such as this can serve as a close substitute. The elegance and honesty with which these writers share raw emotions and practical knowledge make it a valuable resource.--Richard Maxwell, Porter Adventist Hosp. Lib., Denver

Copyright 2020 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.