A Life Everlasting

June 27, 2016
Gray, director of communications for the American Association of Tissue Banks, personally recounts how her six-day-old son’s death helped save countless lives, detailing the dogged purpose and exuberant hope that fueled her daunting journey into the world of medical research. Gray and her husband, Ross, knew months before she gave birth to identical twin sons that one of them, Thomas, had a lethal neural tube defect, and they quickly recognized its “higher purpose”: that his death would allow organ and tissue donations. Knowing only that Thomas’s liver was recovered for a study on liver cell preparation, that his umbilical cord blood would be used for genetic studies, and that his eyes would go to “a very special education research project,” Gray methodically tracks down the places that received the donations and the researchers who studied them. “In his short but treasured life,” she proudly writes, Thomas accomplished nothing less than a contribution “to the advancement of modern medicine.” Gray writes movingly of the loss of her son, the research it aided, and the career to which it led her at the AATB as an advocate for organ and tissue donation. With this remarkable account, Thomas’s legacy will continue to inspire.

July 1, 2016
How the author gave meaning to the short life of her son, who was diagnosed with anencephaly, a fatal neural defect.Gray and her husband were jubilant to learn that they were to be the parents of identical twins, only to have their hopes dashed when a subsequent screening revealed that one of them had anencephaly and would live a few days at most. She writes poignantly of the remaining months of her pregnancy and the need to prepare for one baby joining their home while bracing themselves "for the heartbreak of losing a child at the same time." Online, she learned about a research program being conducted at Duke University in which researchers were seeking a cause or cure for the defect by analyzing the blood of the parents and the cord blood of both twins. The Grays decided that they would give some meaning to their tragedy by participating in the program and donating the body of their infant after his death, and the author organized the logistics of preserving and transferring his remains. At the time of her pregnancy, Gray worked in marketing for the National Industries for the Severely Handicapped, managing a speaker's bureau that enlists people with disabilities to themselves become advocates. She is currently employed as director of communications for the American Association of Tissue Banks as an advocate for organ, eye, and tissue donations. Inspired by the hope of finding out how her son's brief life took on meaning, she traveled to the various institutions where his tissues have been studied by researchers. She writes movingly not only of her own experience finding out how her dead son "was contributing to the greater good," but also of the positive emotional impact of her visits on the researchers themselves. An informative account of the various aspects of organ donation and an inspiring affirmation of the potential value of every life, however brief.

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August 1, 2016
Gray was able to see the silver lining of the death of her son, Thomas, in March of 2010. Born with anencephaly, a fatal brain defect, he lived less than a week, though he did come home with his identical twin brother, Callum. Gray feels a loss for words at his funeral. What do you say about a 6-day-old infant? At first, she blames herself and goes through what-ifs. Could she have caused the problem by consuming alcohol or caffeine or using a sauna? She moves on to write a compelling first-person argument for registering to give away organs and tissue, noting that her son's eyes, liver, and blood have helped researchers. Smith writes, In his short but treasured life, he contributed to the advancement of modern medicine. Now director of communications for the American Association of Tissue Banks, Gray remarks, I only hope my life can be as relevant. She ends with a state-by-state list of resources for families who want more information, which many will after experiencing her view of her son as Thomas Everlasting.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2016, American Library Association.)