Would You Rather?

November 6, 2017
Heaney follows Never Have I Ever, a memoir about her dismal experiences dating men in her mid-20s, with an uneven second memoir in which she explores her attraction to women and describes how she settled into millennial lesbian-partnered bliss. Heaney offers her mostly unoriginal reactions to depictions of lesbians in the media (e.g., she was drawn to the characters in the television show The L Word) and to celebrities (“Queer girls who are into Harry Styles is a definite thing,” she writes on the topic of her male celebrity crush). Her analysis of her elementary school crushes is not all that revealing, as for example when she looks at the breasts of a foreign-exchange student staying with her family for “just a beat too long.” Heaney is most thoughtful when musing about her small-scale celebrity, which resulted from the success of her first memoir, and the “confessional responsibility” she has to her readers to inform them that she is no longer the person they read about in that book. As with her first book, this one feels undercooked; Heaney’s stories are fun and uplifting, but they lack introspection.

December 15, 2017
A series of essays that document the difficult task of self-acceptance.After years without a relationship or a stable sexual preference, former BuzzFeed editor Heaney (Dear Emma, 2016, etc.) decided to take matters into her own hands and go at the same speed as her feelings--frantically, somewhat aimlessly--toward the uncertain question that loomed over her head: am I gay? It started with a feeling of displacement. "This world," she writes, "in its forceful femaleness, was something that greatly appealed to me. I did not feel a part of it, but I found myself longing to be." Then the author discovered The L Word, an all-female TV show centered around the lives of gay women. Quickly, Heaney's desire increased. While in graduate school at the University of Minnesota, Heaney had her first girl crush, which ultimately opened the doors of her desire and allowed her to feel something real for another woman. The author organizes the book in essays, or extended moments, punctuated by brief memos in which she describes various interactions with women throughout her life. Though Heaney provides a singular look at the experience of coming out, the essays often feel predictable. For example: "I was fascinated by lesbians being lesbians and talking about lesbians, to a degree that didn't seem fitting for someone who now identified as one herself." Sometimes, Heaney seems to be living according to a guidebook of expectations of what lesbians are supposed to feel, act like, and talk about, based on a society that more often than not limits their liberties. Furthermore, the author's voice, though relatable, is too frequently self-congratulatory. She discusses her previous memoir, Never Have I Ever (2014), so many times that readers might lose interest in wanting to read it.A quirky book that unfortunately does not help further the dialogue about the difficult experience of coming out.

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February 1, 2018
Heaney's second memoir (Never Have I Ever, 2014) is an introspective account of recognizing her sexual orientation. She writes about the first times she thought she might not be 100-percent straight, crushes that she only recognized in retrospect, and the process of realizing at 28 that she wanted to date women. In chapters proceeding roughly chronologically, she addresses first love, finding community, and finally understanding how friendships change once you're part of a couple. One chapter describes living with her best friend after graduate school, and another is devoted to her love for One Direction and Harry Styles. Heaney also touches on the experience of writing her first memoir and her concern that, now that she's out, fewer readers will be able to relate to her. Heaney's personality shines through in her conversational style as she examines the ways her understanding of relationships and love evolved over the course of her twenties. Readers will enjoy following along on her journey, whether or not they've already found love for themselves.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2018, American Library Association.)