What You Become in Flight

January 27, 2020
In this somber debut memoir, former ballet dancer Whittet reflects on her days as a young ballerina in California, the spinal injury that snuffed out her career prospects at 19, and her new life as a writer. Ballet had consumed Whittet from childhood: “As soon as I was walking I was dancing,” she writes. The book’s first half details her rigorous classical dance training; the pain she routinely battled from sprains and tears; the psychological toll of being in the spotlight (she contended with anorexia); and the trauma that came after her dance partner dropped her during a rehearsal, an accident that resulted in a fractured spine. The book’s second half—about the author trying to find a new calling after injury and rehab—is less gripping. Whittet discusses going to graduate school for writing, seeing a therapist to help her get over a fear of snakes, and falling in love with her husband. Those looking for a memoir about ballet may feel short changed, as much of this book is not about dancing but rejecting the role of a “quiet, acquiescent ballerina” who claims a “new voice” as a writer. While Whittet’s memoir doesn’t fully satisfy, it certainly entices.

February 15, 2020
An essayist/lecturer and former ballerina tells the story of how a career-ending injury forced her to confront the violence of the art form she loved and past traumas she had suppressed. Dance was Whittet's first passion: "As soon as I was walking I was dancing." As a little girl, she dreamed of becoming Gelsey Kirkland in The Nutcracker and began ballet lessons after her parents moved to England. There, she learned the "rigorously classical" British Royal Academy of Dance technique, which she continued to study after her family returned home to California. Whittet reveled in the joy brought about by "disciplining and strengthening my muscles, stretching them so that I had a greater range of movement." However, the older she grew, the more evident the exacting nature of classical dance became. Competitive and demanding, ballet forced dancers to seek perfection of movement regardless of personal cost. By the end of college, Whittet had suffered multiple injuries, including a spinal fracture that ultimately crushed her hopes of ballerina stardom. The end of a cherished dream was not the only trauma she suffered. After her final injury, Whittet was also raped by a boyfriend. Physically and emotionally broken from ballet, the author began a long and difficult period of rehabilitation in which an "obsession with restricting food [intake]" replaced the one she had for dancing. She eventually found a renewed sense of purpose in writing and earned an MFA. Later, and shortly after she met her future husband, Whittet became aware of a snake phobia that therapy revealed was tied to repressed memories of her rape. Throughout the narrative, the author offers a fascinating portrait of the patriarchal victimization she sees as one of the underlying connections between ballet dancing and sexual violence, but that thread sometimes gets buried in the narrative. Nonetheless, Whittet's candor and elegant prose make this book a genuinely absorbing read. Not without blemishes but unquestionably powerful and poignant.

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April 1, 2020
In A Chorus Line, Sheila sings Everything is beautiful at the ballet, a line that rang true for Whittet until she incurred an injury that ended her career. This thoughtful and lyrical memoir is a reflection on her life on and off the stage and on how she confronts her fears and personal demons. Her descriptions of what it feels like to glide through the air and what it takes to reach those heights are evocative and beautifully written. For every graceful step danced and intricate combination completed there is an underpinning of sacrifice and suffering. Injuries, body image issues, self-hatred?all part of her quest for perfection?are rendered in frank and personal prose. Coming to terms with the end of a lifelong dream required an extraordinary amount of inner strength, and she shares her struggle to attain it. Her account of a post-ballet career as a lecturer includes accounts of personal experiences of violence and, by extension, her thoughts on violence against women. An inspiring and powerful book with particular resonance for women readers.WOMEN IN FOCUS: The 19th in 2020(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2020, American Library Association.)