The Gift

July 27, 2020
Holocaust survivor and therapist Eger (The Choice) encourages readers to break free from self-imposed mental prisons in this engaging work. Eger, drawing on a variety of therapeutic concepts, developed a technique she calls “choice therapy,” which aims to promise freedom from the deleterious effects of personal trauma by choosing each day to recognize that suffering is temporary, to find lessons to be learned in the worst experiences, and to remain curious about the future. She covers 12 common “mental prisons,” including avoidance, rigidity, and the “chronic anger and irritation” of resentment, fear, and hopelessness. For each “prison,” she shares stories from her own life and those of clients to show how focusing on the future and reframing and reconsidering actions can have a powerful impact on one’s happiness and mental health. Some of the examples are so extreme as to seem inapplicable—her own experiences in Auschwitz, a woman surviving two gunshots to the head, a singer developing a vocal tremor and back injury on the cusp of a world tour—but her nonclinical, conversational tone and genuine optimism make her suggestions seem entirely achievable. The range of topics Eger’s methods address and her accomplished writing distinguish this useful guide for improving one’s life. Agent: Doug Abrams, Idea Architects.

Starred review from September 1, 2020

This 92-year-old author survived Auschwitz and went on to get a PhD in psychology and conduct a successful clinical practice for decades. She maintains that real freedom is within one's mind, and that it consists of one's power to choose. Here, with cowriter Weigand, Eger identifies common mental prisons that contribute to suffering, helps readers identify these, and offers tools to become free. The author's approach, named "choice therapy," is centered on the idea that healing, fulfillment, and freedom come from one's ability to choose one's responses to life's circumstances, and to make meaning and purpose from it all. Her three guideposts are: "We do not change until we're ready" and "change is about interrupting the habits and patterns that no longer serve us and discovering the real you." The chapter "Would You Like To Be Married to You?" deals with resentment, and "No One Rejects You But You" focuses on guilt and shame. VERDICT Eger's particularly wise book based on personal experience and clinical practice is highly recommended.

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