Kissing Outside the Lines

July 4, 2011
Our alleged post-racial society isn't all it's supposed to be. That's what author and actress Diane Farr dis-covered when she fell in love with a Korean-American man whose parents didn't want him to marry out-side his culture. Her now-husband's parents had wanted him to marry a Korean, not simply because of ethnicity, but also to keep cultural traditions alive. In this breezily humorous but heartfelt account, she traces her romantic journey from first meeting to altar and navigates the often confusing terrain that many couples of different races, religions, and cultures still face in 21st-century America. She explores the rationale behind what she deems a double standard: families that would never tell children not to as-sociate with friends, neighbors, and colleagues of different races and backgrounds still consider some people off-limits when it comes to marriage. If a few of Farr's own problems don't seem terribly dire (her husband's aunts and uncles shunned her, but both of their immediate families were accepting), the trou-bles faced by some of the other five couples she profiles are painful tales of parental rejection and ma-nipulation. Farr learns that can't please everyoneâsound advice for any bride-to-be.