I Can't Date Jesus

April 16, 2018
“The world is still a harsh place for those who don’t fit in with the status quo,” writes journalist Arceneaux in this witty and powerful collection of personal essays. Over the course of 17 pieces, Arceneaux explores his experiences as a black, gay man and Catholic Southerner—identities frequently at odds with each other. Arceneaux recalls praying to Jesus to “cure” him of his homosexuality as a teenager in Houston, and later being “recruited” for priesthood as a college student at Howard University, noting at that period in his life he saw his future self as “something more along the lines of ‘Katie Couric with a dick.’ ” He later writes about his postcollege stints living in Los Angeles and New York while trying to make it as a writer (“here are the topics mainstream outlets love for me to write about from the perspective of a gay Black man: Black homophobia, AIDS, sexual racism”). His dating escapades, meanwhile, are frequently hilarious and sometimes disastrous: one man was judged unacceptable not because he had beaten up an ex-boyfriend, but because he worked for Fox News, while another brought a flea infestation into Arceneaux’s apartment. Arceneaux has a biting sense of humor, referring to the persistence of Catholic guilt, for example, as “the herpes of your conscience,” and a nasty roommate as “land’s answer to Ursula the Sea Witch.” Arceneaux’s confident voice and unapologetic sense of humor will appeal to fans of Roxane Gay.

May 15, 2018
A gay black journalist gets personal about race, religion, and sexuality in America.Houston native Arceneaux gathers his most provocative essays to discuss how he went about "unlearning every damaging thing I've seen and heard about my identity." He begins with a reflection of his childhood and his devoutly Catholic--and homophobic--home environment. Although his mother taught him about sexuality early on, his father ferociously condemned a gay uncle who died of AIDS. Fearful of being revealed as homosexual, the author spent much of his adolescence masturbating to mental images of gorgeous men while praying that "God wouldn't grab Moses's staff and knock the shit out of me with it." When a priest approached him about joining the priesthood, Arceneaux realized he had to come to terms with who he was. The author experimented with same-sex relationships at Howard University, but he remained mostly closeted. After taking part in a New York City gay pride parade during college, he tentatively began coming out, first to other students and then to his sister. The music of Beyoncé--his "lord and gyrator" and a woman notable for how she always "[stood] firm" in who she was as an artist and black woman--also helped him find the courage to be himself. As Arceneaux grew into his gay identity, he contemplated the nature of gay marriage, cross-racial gay attractions, and his own relationships with other black men. He attempted to write about his revelations for the media, but when he did, his (mostly white) editors saw what "[they] wanted to see" rather than the truths he attempted to communicate. Arceneaux's essays penetrate to the heart of intersectionality to reveal personal and religious trials of faith. Together, they make a powerful statement of self-acceptance in a world much in need of lessons about diversity, tolerance, and openness.A funny, fierce, and bold memoir in essays.

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August 1, 2018

Arceneaux's debut is both funny and serious; containing humorous essays about being gay, being black, and growing up in Houston. His storytelling has a degree of panache that puts him in league with some of the best personal essayists writing today. He also grew up Roman Catholic, which plays a large role in many of his essays. His formal education took him to Howard University while his romantic schooling took him through the trials and tribulations of contemporary gaydom, with its ups and downs. Arceneaux knows how to take serious matters, such as when asked to join the priesthood and making the irony deeply human. He talks about one of the classic locations of black male solidarity, the barber shop, and reveals how it can be a minefield for a gay man. These few examples don't do justice to the wit and verve with which the author writes; there are shifting emotions, reflecting someone revealing his deepest self. VERDICT Arceneaux is forthcoming in such a way that readers will feel like they're having a conversation with a good friend; a personal story for all readers.--David Azzolina, Univ. of Pennsylvania Libs., Philadelphia

Copyright 2018 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

June 1, 2018
Houston-born, Harlem-based Arceneaux knew from a young age that he preferred boys. He also learned, after an uncle's death from AIDS, to fear experiences that could result in his own sickness, and carried guilt for his same-sex feelings based on his conservative Catholic upbringing. He found special comfort in his sister, his idol and champion, and in Janet Jackson, Mary J. Blige, Madonna, and eventually the queen herself, Beyonc�: women whose music taught him he could be masculine however he wanted to be. Arceneaux reflects on all this in telling how he worked hard for his writing career while managing the stress of graduating from Howard on the cusp of the recession with mountains of student-loan debt. For his parents, whose terrifying fights he witnessed throughout his youth, he reserves a loving, life-earned fairness. It's not all so serious, though, as he tackles bad dates and bad haircuts, too. Arceneaux is familiar, funny, and irreverent in turn, but readers will stick with this very personal debut collection for his sincerity most of all.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2018, American Library Association.)