Together

September 24, 2018
Goldman (Losing My Sister) offers a tender view of her marriage and a suspenseful account of her husband’s frustrating struggle to regain mobility after a routine hospital procedure left him unable to walk. In his 60s at the memoir’s opening, Goldman’s husband, Henry, an optometrist, set out for a spinal epidural to ease his nagging back pain. Goldman’s text alternates between reflections on their decades-long marriage and the medical saga surrounding a botched steroid injection that left Henry partially paralyzed. An energetic, athletic man, Henry was unaccustomed to feeling helpless, but as the days passed in the hospital and in rehab in Charlotte, N.C., the couple became increasingly aware that their lives had been forever altered, and their roles (he the strongman, she the protected wife) had shifted. Goldman also writes of how she found her angry “hospital personality” rising as she dealt with inattentive hospital staff. Goldman looks back on the sturdy roots of their marriage, the love that brought them together and continues to sustain them in challenging times, as well as at their differences and disagreements. This loving tribute to her husband and to the solidness of their union will engage and inspire readers, especially aging boomers facing potential health concerns.

December 1, 2018
An award-winning author recounts how her husband's treatment to alleviate chronic back pain wreaked unexpected havoc on his health and their relationship.When Goldman's (Losing My Sister, 2012, etc.) husband, Henry, saw an advertisement for injections that alleviated spine problems, he eagerly made an appointment. Surgery had been ineffective in curing chronic back pain, and engaging in the athletic activities he loved--jogging, racquetball, and tennis--had become impossible. Rather than cure him, the treatment left Henry paralyzed from the waist down. The doctor insisted all would be well despite disturbing signs to the contrary. Goldman, who was "too timid to take charge," suddenly found herself having to fight a medical establishment that could not explain what had gone wrong. Henry did regain some, but not all, feeling; with physical therapy, he also regained the ability to walk. But for the next several years, he endured worsening pain, blood clots, knee replacement, and, eventually, total shoulder replacement due to an "altered gait and awkward posture." When the pair eventually tried to take legal action to compensate for Henry's suffering, they were told they did not have a strong enough case to sue for damages. The author watched her husband struggle and observed how extreme stress caused her to display her most "unlovely self." At the same time, she also pondered their past and the new normal of their present. The shifts that threatened to tear their relationship apart forced both Goldman and her husband to assume new roles and expand old identities in ways they could never have foreseen. For all their trials, they emerged more bonded than ever. Honest and compassionate, Goldman's book is a life-affirming story that celebrates the grit that goes into making a long-term marriage work.A moving portrait of "young love turning into old love" in the face of unexpected life challenges.

COPYRIGHT(2018) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Starred review from March 1, 2019

Poet and novelist Goldman's (Losing My Sister) newest work chronicles the ebb and flow of marriage against a backdrop of a medical procedure gone horribly wrong. It begins with Goldman's husband, Henry, visiting a doctor for chronic back pain. What happened next leads to partial paralysis and a major role reversal for husband and wife. The author, who describes herself as a "demure, quiet, Southern woman," becomes a caregiver and fierce advocate for Henry. Thanks to her love, strength, and the support of family and friends, his spirit is maintained all the while tested by overworked (or incompetent) medical professionals. Each chapter shifts between the past and the present, with Goldman referencing her marriage and relationships with her family as signposts of change. In the hands of a less competent writer, these shifts would be redundant or tiresome. But Goldman's prowess with the economy of words and emotions, also evidenced in her prize-winning poetry collections, allows readers to empathize with her plight without being bogged down by the author's self-pity or anger. VERDICT An insightful, at times harrowing, chronicle of the ups and downs of marriage and the many roles we play in one another's lives.--Leah Huey, Dekalb P.L., IL

Copyright 2019 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

December 15, 2018
When Goldman brought her husband to the hospital for a back treatment, they didn't suspect that he would never walk again. The injection that was supposed to relieve back pain paralyzed one leg and weakened the other. As the Goldman family work through their new normal, they learn to navigate rehab centers, surly nurses, and constant discomfort. Goldman shares their victories (steps without walkers, driving the car) and setbacks (more surgeries, treacherous falls). Passages intercut with the medical journey depicting their early years of marriage, when the two traveled, raised children, and savored life, make the loss even more poignant. The stress wears on the author, who finds herself becoming increasingly (and understandably) testy and overprotective. With her journals in hand and her poet's eye, Goldman records the emotional and psychological weariness of prolonged illness. But above all, this is an inspiring story of how life can change in an instant and how the power of love and the support of friends and family helps through unspeakable challenges.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2018, American Library Association.)