May Cause Love
A Memoir
کتاب های مرتبط
- اطلاعات
- نقد و بررسی
- دیدگاه کاربران
نقد و بررسی
December 12, 2016
In this brave and unsparing memoir, Underwood, a writer and lecturer, tells of getting pregnant at 19 with her drug addict quasi-boyfriend and choosing to have an abortion. She struggled for years afterward to come to terms with the consuming sense of loss she experienced as she repeatedly failed to find a support network. When her ex-boyfriend emails her on the third anniversary of the abortion—to tell her his new partner is pregnant with a girl they’re naming Jade, which is what he and Underwood would have called their child—she truly starts to unravel, tormented by her unresolved grief and memories of the procedure. Six years after her abortion, she’s finally ready to begin the healing. Underwood tries various methods to help herself, including attending a Roman Catholic retreat run by staunch pro-lifers, taking a vow of silence in the woods while quitting Zoloft cold turkey, meditation, and a Buddhist “water baby” ritual. Underwood travels through uncharted and harrowing waters at times; her story, though painful, is moving and heartfelt. She eventually creates her own “road to recovery,” and by mapping that road she hopes to provide a voice for women and men suffering in silence.
December 1, 2016
How one woman overcame the traumatic experience of abortion.Essayist Underwood, who studies at Harvard Divinity School and co-hosts the "Spiritually Blonde" podcast, was caught by surprise with her pregnancy at age 19. She always imagined being a virgin until marriage, marrying a man she loved, and having their first child a few years after the wedding. "My first pregnancy was supposed to be about joy," she writes. However, she believed that, despite the suffering involved, she needed the abortion since the baby, a failed relationship with the father, and being in love with someone else were all the wrong things at the wrong time. Then she spent years trying to overcome the incredible sadness she felt afterward. Underwood intimately describes the events leading up to her relationship with Noah, a drug dealer and user, while the man she truly loved, "Will-B," was in the military and overseas. She also chronicles the abortion and the tactics she used to move on. These included a Buddhist ceremony commonly used in Japan to help women move beyond abortion, a Roman Catholic retreat, a water baby ritual, meditation, consultations with a representative from Planned Parenthood, and more. Through it all, she continued to struggle with her true feelings about her relationship with Will-B, where the timing of any declarations of love was always out of sync. Underwood's writing effectively exposes her emotional conflicts about her abortion as well as those of the many women with whom she discussed this often taboo subject. The author shines a personal light on the dilemma that women face when they have to juggle their own needs and desires with a biological accident that has the power to completely change their lives, whether they birth the child or not. A poignant memoir about the years of healing that are often required after having an abortion.
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Starred review from January 1, 2017
Underwood was 19 and a drunken wreck when she found herself pregnant. Raised in conservative Kentucky, Underwood understood that abortion was an unfathomable sin. Still, she knew she was in no place to raise a child. Three years after her abortion, the drug addict who had impregnated her told her he was about to become a father, and Underwood found herself reeling. She remained in the depths of despair for years, running from grief and guilt. Though she did not regret her decision, she knew she needed to heal, eventually seeking out various healing practices. Over time, during a Buddhist ceremony, a Catholic retreat, many therapy sessions, and a Jewish ritual, she slowly faced her psyche and began to mend. Underwood wrote the book she had been longing for as a young woman. Full of rich emotion and excellent storytelling, Underwood's memoir of strength and healing reads almost like fiction. (It is also full of accurate medical and scientific research.) Underwood's spiritual journey explores several religions, making her experience more available to any reader. This will be an excellent resource for anyone struggling with an abortion or miscarriage, or for readers seeking to better understand those who have done so.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2017, American Library Association.)
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