Be Safe, Love Mom

January 5, 2015
In her debut, Brye offers an invaluable handbook for parents of U.S. military service members. An Army brat, Air Force wife, ROTC candidate, and mother of four military officers—one each in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines—she draws her advice from hard-won experience. Brye explains everything, including why the rigors of boot camp are essential and how normal it is for parents to feel emotionally overwhelmed after a child’s deployment. Most comfortingly, she states that military parents are all in it together: members of the military and their families are, well, family, across all branches of service. Her best advice for both parents and service members is to remain “Semper Gumby”—that is, always flexible. Having Christmas in August? No problem. Parental stress, volunteering to help other military families, and the role of spiritual faith are also discussed. Brye doesn’t shrink from the hardest topics, including traumatic brain injuries, PTSD, and, most unthinkably, casualty calls. For nonmilitary families, her work is a powerful reminder of the sacrifices made by those who serve and by their loved ones. For military families, Brye’s book will comfort and inform.

February 1, 2015
The mother of four serving military officers pays tribute to the parents of children in active service, especially mothers, America's "unsung heroes."Brye, an advocate for military families who administers the Naval Academy's Parents Listserv and Facebook page, achieved national prominence when she was chosen to introduce Michelle Obama at the 2012 Democratic Convention. The author explains that despite her own Republican convictions, she appreciates the activities of both the first lady and Jill Biden on behalf of military families. "There is the bravery required to go out and fight the battles," writes Brye, "and there is the bravery to keep the home fires burning." Coming from a multigenerational military family-her parents served during World War II, her husband is a retired officer, and she has four children on active duty-she knows the terrain. Not only do parents need to endure the worry when their sons and daughters are on dangerous deployments and out of touch, mothers also face the trauma of severe disconnection, which begins when their children go through the toughening-up process of boot camp. The author writes of her own ordeal under such circumstances as akin to "swimming under water without an oxygen tank," and she describes overcoming fighting the urge to protect a child in the military as learning to "embrace the suck." At the same time, Brye advises mothers to cut themselves some slack, citing her own occasional meltdowns as something to be expected under stress. The author also touches on the special difficulties for women in the military, as they must demonstrate physical toughness, but not get too chummy with their male counterparts, in order to gain respect. A compassionate, insightful guide for military parents and the rest of us who are in their debt.

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