I Like You Just the Way I Am

June 1, 2014
Actress Mollen delivers a collection of 15 raunchy essays.A sampling of a few of the titles within this assemblage: "Behind Every Crazy Woman, There's an Even More Batshit Mother"; "The Birthday Whore"; "Hand Jobs: The Fine Art of Getting a Mani-Pedi Next to Your Husband's Ex (Who Hates You)"; "Chicks Before Dicks"; "Nobody Wants to be Your Fucking Bridesmaid"; and "You Were Molested." Granted, Mollen warns readers regarding her blunt views: "There is zero reason to be ashamed of announcing and acting on your real feelings. Life is too short for bullshit. I'm thirty-three, and my tits drop about half an inch a year. In other words, it's all downhill from here." Called the funniest woman on Twitter by the Huffington Post, the author freely throws off her few inhibitions throughout these pieces. Wading into Mollen's essays eventually creates reader fatigue akin to being cornered by a self-centered bore at a cocktail party. The author is unrelentingly candid. A passage from the essay titled "One Shade of Grey" explains Mollen's attempt at spicing up her marriage (to fellow actor Jason Biggs) with a series of sex toys and enhancements. Here and elsewhere, the author demonstrates her penchant for humor in the vein of Sarah Silverman's most X-rated material, but Mollen is simply not as clever. "Sometimes I'd contemplated writing a movie, then stop and buy something online instead," she writes. "I never saw myself as a writer. I have horrible grammar and can't spell to save my life. I never had an English teacher single me out or imply that I showed any promise beyond being a B+ student." Perhaps the author should stick to acting.A simple exercise comprised of equal parts crass, snarky humor and narcissistic blather.

COPYRIGHT(2014) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.