Anchor and Flares

Starred review from July 6, 2015
Braestrup (Here if You Need Me) cuts an intriguing figure in her warm, thoughtful chronicle of her time in the trenches as a parent and on the job. A mother of four with two stepchildren from her second marriage, she goes for a Masters in Divinity as a young widow and becomes a chaplain to the Maine Warden Service, wearing what a poet described as "SWAT-Team pastorwear." Her job is to comfort the friends and family of those missing or killed, and provide support to the wardens who go on rescue and recovery missions. Braestrup is not, however, a stereotypical Bible-thumper. As a young mother in the 1980s who gave her children feminist interpretations of "The Three Little Pigs," she was preoccupied with her little boys becoming "agents of oppression" and dressed them in pinks and florals, while her daughters were encouraged to get their overalls messy. She regularly questions her skills and the lessons she has passed on,. When her oldest son, taking a page from his grandfathers who joined up, decides to enlist with the Marines at 17, she wrestles with the standard set by the men in the family while contemplating whether she has prepared him to stay true to himself and maintain a moral compass that will give him courage and keep him safe. Braestrup's compassion, grace, and wisdom come through loud and clear. Agent: Sally Wofford-Girand, Union Literary.

April 15, 2015
An ordained Unitarian Universalist minister comes to terms with a son joining the Marines. Maine Warden Service chaplain Braestrup (Marriage and Other Acts of Charity: A Memoir, 2010, etc.) embraced a faith-based livelihood after her first husband, a state trooper, tragically perished in a car accident. With affable flourishes and a healthy sense of self-deprecating humor, the author brings her eldest son, Zachary, into vivid focus. After her husband's sudden death, Braestrup was compelled to embark on a ministry career that led her to a law enforcement chaplaincy and countrywide speaking engagements on grief, trauma, and bereavement. Her anecdotes are innocuously entertaining in their brevity, frankness, and sunny delivery: the gushed confessions from total strangers who see her clergy collar; her unflinchingly compassionate delivery of spiritual care at a "woodland calamity"; memories of her father, who served in the Marine Corps and fought in Korea; and the pleasures of mothering (and stepmothering) six children after remarrying. Perhaps most affecting is the sudden avalanche of worry brought on by the "salesman's enthusiasm" of the recruiter who visited Zach after a school career day. As "the first to launch from the familial nest," her eldest child put the squeeze on her heart when he decided to enlist in the Marines. As parents' memories often do, Braestrup's narrative wanders down Memory Lane often, as she shares many of Zach's firsts, filled with foibles and amazing acts of bravery and solidarity (at 11, he sewed a rainbow patch on his book bag to oppose anti-gay classmates). While immensely proud of her oldest, the author naturally fretted over his safety. "I was afraid he would be changed into a monster and the change would be forever," she writes. Sensitive and wholesomely charming, the book is refreshingly free of preachy proselytization and instead addresses the bittersweetness of parenthood and perennial nurturing. Braestrup delivers another appealing, tenderhearted memoir braiding faith and family.

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June 1, 2015
Braestrup's Here if You Need Me (2007), telling how she became a chaplain after her young husband's death, limned her grief as well as her admirable determination. This one takes her fans with her as she remarries and watches her children (now numbering six, with stepchildren) take the steps to adulthood, heading to college, and, most especially, for oldest son Zach, into the U.S. Marines. Braestrup pulls from many angles here, discussing not just parenting and choices but past wars and consequences, current wars, and the social climate in the world and the U.S., from segregation to the ubiquitous nature of the Internet. Among her reflections, she intersperses letters of advice to her children, written with the bittersweet realization that times have not only changed but continue to do so. Her belief in God, from her Universalist Unitarian perspective, provokes commentary on faith and love that will bolster, not exclude, readers concerned with spirituality. Braestrup's straightforward, empathic writing folds in many well-considered thoughts. She speaks from experience, and her viewpoint will serve parents, grandparents, and all those struggling to deal with maintaining their nests as they empty.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2015, American Library Association.)

February 15, 2015

Braestrup came crashingly to our attention with Here If You Need Me, a heart shaker about her pursuing a career as chaplain to the Maine (Game) Warden Service after the death of her state trooper husband. Here, as a protective mother who's also taught the value of service, she considers what it's like to watch her eldest son depart for the U.S. Marines. With a reading group guide.

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