The Art of Waiting

May 16, 2016
Boggs’s essays about “Plan B family making,” which chronicle her experiences with her spouse, doctors, and peers while dealing with infertility, touch on universal themes of hope, loss, and identity. Boggs (Mattaponi Queen) shows a profound awareness of the value of story, drawing on fictional models of infertility such as those in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, conversations with childless female writing colleagues, and Joan Didion and Adrienne Rich’s writings on motherhood, as well as her own fiction. Even though she calls herself “greedy for every kind of model,” her reach for connection to the world feels expansive rather than self-centered. This is true when she is playfully musing on the behavior of pregnant gorillas, or explaining the culture and many associated acronyms and neologisms of online support groups for women trying to conceive. It is also true when she connects with the alienation and shame experienced by forced-sterilization victims, the ethical dilemmas of adoptive parents, and the financial troubles of couples who are driven toward reproductive procedures that insurance does not cover. Boggs’s contemplative view of waiting as a mentally active practice offers comfort to those who cannot get exactly what they need even by the hardest of wishing. Agent: Maria Massie, Lippincott Massie McQuilkin.

Starred review from May 1, 2016
So much more than a memoir about trying to conceive.The situation in which Boggs (Mattaponi Queen, 2010) found herself has become increasingly common and is thus likely to resonate with a large readership. Having long put any thought of motherhood on hold--using birth control and focusing on her writing, career, husband, and the other priorities of a life without children--she figured that she would get pregnant when it was time. And when it was time, and then it seemed like time was running out, she couldn't. A book about the author and her husband might have seen suspense build along with expenses, with new and different options explored as readers wonder whether all of this will result in a baby. But this deeply empathetic book is about more than one woman's challenge; it's about the whole scope of maternal urges, of how culture (and literature) treat the childless (or "childfree"), how biases against medical intervention serve to stigmatize those who need such expensive (and not always successful) assistance, and how complicated can be the decisions about whether to adopt rather than continuing to attempt to conceive, the moral dimensions of international adoption (and surrogates), the additional hurdles facing gay couples, and the seemingly arbitrary differences between states as to what procedures are covered and to what financial limit. While dropping a couple of offhand references early on to the fact that, yes, she became a mother, Boggs writes with considerable heart and engagement about the decisions that are so tough for so many. "Nothing about this experience had been what we expected when we thought of having children, or even when we first guessed that the road to parenthood might be a long one," she reflects. "It was more uncomfortable and expensive than we imagined, and less private." In her reporting, researching, and sharing, Boggs has performed a public service for those in a similar position--and for anyone interested in the implications of parenthood or in a story well-told and deeply felt.

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August 1, 2016

"It's spring when I realize that I may never have children." So opens novelist Boggs's (fine arts, North Carolina State Univ.; Mattaponi Queen) memoir of infertility. The book chronicles the author's physical and emotional experiences with assisted reproductive technology (ART), interwoven with stories of other infertile couples. She also explores the choices available to these couples--ART, adoption, surrogacy--as well as the associated legal, financial, and ethical challenges, seasoned with side trips to explore subjects ranging from the exploitation of surrogates in Nepal to the reproduction of gorillas in an American zoo. Eloquent and insightful, Boggs never descends to self-pity, instead writing with empathy, compassion, and occasional humor, demonstrating respect for all types of households, including LGBT families and singles. While this is not intended to be a patient guide, the medical facts presented are accurately and appropriately detailed. VERDICT Readers struggling with infertility may find reassurance and comfort in Boggs's experiences; their loved ones will gain insight into the painful experience of infertility. All readers will appreciate the engaging prose and thought-provoking information.--Janet Crum, Northern Arizona Univ. Lib., Flagstaff

Copyright 2016 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

September 1, 2016
Boggs' (Mattaponi Queen, 2010) lyrical look at the heartbreak of infertility, part memoir and part essay collection, evolved from the title piece, which appeared to powerful effect in Orion and Harper's. Boggs sensitively and creatively explores infertility, the struggle to get pregnant, and the entire concept of waiting, which leads her to literature and pop culture. She also tackles her subject matter like a reporter, conducting interviews and drawing on her extensive research into parenthood in the animal world and medical interventions to coax Mother Nature along. With an eye to helping others, she also tucks in selected resources, such as RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association; the Broken Brown Egg, an online community for people of color; and the Pay It Forward Fertility Foundation, a nonprofit group giving financial help to couples who could not otherwise afford IVF. Waiting is a part of life and can build appreciation and wonder into the life you finally achieve, writes Boggs, now the mom of a daughter born through IVF. But you shouldn't have to wait forever. Deeply thoughtful, beautiful, and illuminating.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2016, American Library Association.)