Television Can Blow Me 8

As the nation stood stunned at the stark reality of a good acting performance from Squealey Nause it was Aerial Telly they turned to to make sense of it all. His Line of Duty recaps were as brilliant, brutal and efficient as the daily beatdowns Lindsey Fuckingham put on Carol Ann Harris during their 7 year long turd relationshit. And once AGAIN when Saga and Martin returned in The Bridge the explosion of creativity, insight and sass that was his immaculate ten in a row run of reviews left every other operating TV critic with PTSD, broken ballbags and diseased colons. That was before he even started on his least favourite waste of time The Voice.

More heartless and unforgiving than ever he delivers an unanswerable and pre-emptive "don't even think it" to any weasels with a notion to test him.

Aerial Telly forever. Talent show song skunks never.