How to Love an American Man

May 30, 2011
Gasbarre, a contributor to relationship Web sites (YourTango and LimeWire), details her quest for finding love with the perfect man, someone who has all the qualities of her grandfather. Unfortunately, it seems the 28-year-oldâdespite much analyzing and discussingâhasn't gained clarity. As the book begins, the author follows a boyfriend to Italy, who soon dumps her; she returns home to her grandfather, who falls ill and dies. She writes, "When I lost the two men who made me feel beautiful and important, I gave up the world and returned to my family. For the first time, it would be a woman who would change the way I looked at myself and at relationships." Due to a dearth of change or enlightenment in the author, readers' attentiveness likely will wane. And while it is clear Gasbarre treasures her family, the conversations with her grandmother often feel self-conscious and forced, breaking the rhythm of the narrative.

May 15, 2011

In this fun but also moving debut memoir, Gasbarre tells the story of how she "boomeranged" back home to help care for the newly widowed grandmother who unexpectedly became her "ideal relationship guru."

The two women seemed polar opposites. "Grandma Glo" had married young and never finished college, while Gasbarre had graduated with a master's degree, lived in Europe, and "spent all of [her] twenties questing and introspecting to understand where  [she] fit in the world." But for all the adventure she had experienced, the author, unlike her grandmother, had only known unfulfilling, short-lived romances with men. Yet the two women found common ground in one important way—they both shared an "equally intense affinity for the first generation all-American alpha male." Their bond deepened as Gasbarre shared the details of the two relationships that occupied her attention during her stay at her parents' house: one with an immature collegiate six years her junior and the other with a shy, gentle cosmetic surgeon who showed her what it was like to be courted. Grandma Glo in turn provided glimpses into a bygone era when men cherished their women and women stood steadfastly by their men. Gasbarre uses each "lesson" she learned from her Grandmother—such as learning to listen, being prepared to forgive and loving by existing—as the title of each chapter, and each chapter as a kind of chronological "illustration" of how she came to terms with that lesson. Her depiction of how two "fiery, independent women" bonded across generations is heartwarming without being saccharine. The author's treatment of the central conflict that drives the book—the quintessentially modern female quandary of finding lasting love while staying true to personal ambitions—comes across with an integrity and veracity women readers will undoubtedly appreciate.

Chick-lit-alicious.

(COPYRIGHT (2011) KIRKUS REVIEWS/NIELSEN BUSINESS MEDIA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.)

July 1, 2011
In Gasbarre's memoir, love, family, and the timeless quest for self propel observation. Deemed unlucky in love, Gasbarre travels to Italy when she meets a man who just might be the one. But soon enough, he isn't, and on top of that, she receives the news that her beloved grandfather is dying. After his death, she decides it's time to come home to her family in Pennsylvania the way a fledgling realizes it needs the cozy sanctuary of its home nest before it can venture forth again. As she resettles into American life, Gasbarre begins to have conversations with Grandma Glo, who seems to possess a quiet depth Gasbarre never before recognized. Gasbarre wishes to emulate her grandparents' 60-year marriage but wonders whether it's even possible to re-create such a bond nowadays. Marred by sometimes uninspired writing, Gasbarre's reflections should resonate with many readers nevertheless, including those who enjoyed Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love (2006).(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2011, American Library Association.)