There Are No Grown-ups

March 15, 2018
A bestselling American author and journalist living in Paris investigates the "undeniably transitional" decade of the 40s.As she neared the end of her 30s, Druckerman (Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting, 2013, etc.) suddenly noticed how people--and especially Parisian waiters--addressed her using the matronly "madame" rather than the more youthful "mademoiselle." To understand the "new rules" of maturity, the author began to assess every aspect of her life. The marriage and more stable life Druckerman acquired by her mid-30s brought with them a need to remove the dysfunctional friendships that she collected with ease in her youth. The French-born children she had with her British husband made her feel like the "ruler of a tiny country" always subject to judgment by her opinionated "subjects." Middle age also gave new impetus to last-fling experiments--e.g., the ménage-à-trois she planned for her husband's 40th birthday--and the author offers extended ruminations on wrinkles, arm cellulite, and the fashion faux pas of older women. When a diagnosis of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (for which Druckerman was successfully treated) put her face to face with her mortality, she was unexpectedly overcome with new gratitude for being alive. Research into middle age revealed that the so-called midlife crisis was actually "a cultural construct," but one that nevertheless continued to offer those seeking answers--like the author--a narrative for how "life [was] supposed to go." In the end, French culture offered her the most satisfying answer: that aging was a matter of learning how to feel comfortable in one's skin and "live out the best version of [one's] age." Half memoir and half ironic how-to guide, Druckerman's book is not only a humorous meditation on the gains and pains of a time in life "when you become who you are"; it is also a thought-provoking meditation on "what it means to be a grown-up."A trenchant and witty book on maturity and "middle-age shock."

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March 26, 2018
Druckerman (Bringing Up BéBé) tackles the subject of entering her 40s in this amusing essay collection, with all 25 chapters cleverly entitled “How to” (e.g., “How to Be Jung,” “How to Have a Midlife Crisis”). Druckerman, who has lived in Paris for 12 years with her British journalist husband (and their three kids), opens by painting a colorful picture of her Miami childhood, where she was raised by positive-thinking, “incompatible” Jewish parents. She then shifts to life in France, including the chapter “How to Plan a Ménàge a Trois” (originally in Marie Claire) about the threesome she gave her husband when he turned 40. Druckerman claims 40 is when Parisians began calling her madame instead of mademoiselle, and when she realized she could no longer sport a youthful wardrobe (blazers and navy blue are now de rigueur, say French fashion rules). Though Druckerman is diagnosed with and treated for cancer in the course of her story, her tone remains predominantly light (“You know you’re in your forties when... you watch The Graduate, you identify with the parents”). Druckerman’s vision of aging is far from sugarcoated, and by the witty book’s end she’s matured into her role as a grown-up, making the 40s seem not so awful after all.

May 1, 2018

Essayist and author (Bringing Up Bébé) Druckerman continues to examine her life as an American expat living in Paris with her three children and British husband. This time out, she takes on middle age. French waiters no longer refer to her as "mademoiselle"; now it's "madame." She doesn't get interested looks from strangers anymore. She discusses this with friends male and female, French and otherwise, interspersing the observations with somewhat humorous musings on a comfortable life in Paris, some family history, stories of negotiating social situations in a foreign country, and knowledgeable tips. Chapters cover "How To Be an Expert," "How To Have a Midlife Crisis," "How To Make Friends," and "How To Plan a Ménage à Trois," among other topics. Each section opens with a bullet-list of tips for 40s living. Style suggestions are generic; other midlife hacks are not very helpful for the average fortysomething, but some are funny. Her husband's comments are hilarious, and her thoroughly French children are amusants. The author's bout with a serious illness is awkwardly dropped in, then abandoned. VERDICT Amusing in parts, rambling in others, this loose-knit guide is for fans of the author and those who want to experience the expat life vicariously. [See Prepub Alert, 11/27/17.]--Liz French, Library Journal

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