Dessert First

September 1, 2019

Trent (One Breath at a Time) writes that "Rituals are the meaning-making stuff of life," and the ritual that most interests the author here is death, especially the death for which we are most responsible: our own. Her mother's active dying motivated Trent to consider her own role as a "death chaplain" (a name given to her by hospital staff) as well as the social, political, and religious dimensions of a good ending. She laments that it can seem like religions have hijacked death rituals, but the reality is that actively dying allows anyone to have a good death--that is, to die where and how one wishes. Doing such preparation frees one not necessarily from the fear of death, but also from the anxiety around how one dies. VERDICT A valuable primer on a good ending. Of particular benefit are the appendixes, which offer all manner of practical spiritual, legal, and medical guidance both for the dying and for the living.--Sandra Collins, Byzantine Catholic Seminary Lib., Pittsburgh

Copyright 2019 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

August 19, 2019
Trent (One Breath at a Time), a Baptist minister, draws from her experiences as a hospital chaplain and grieving daughter to plumb how death “teaches us how to live” in this enlightening memoir and guide to confronting the end of life. Fresh out of divinity school and recently ordained, Trent became the chaplain in the “death ward” of a hospital, where she worked with patients with terminal diagnoses. Alternately hilarious (as when she embarks on her “ ‘ashes to ashes’ road tour” with her mother’s remains) and poignant (“Grief never goes away... It just changes shape”), Trent mines her own experiences as well as the lessons of her late nurse practitioner mother and doctor brother, such as acceptance of death as natural and how to facilitate a “good death—employing rituals to help loved ones and ourselves in these transitions.” With practical advice on making checklists to prepare for one’s death or the death of a loved one, Trent reminds readers that it’s never too early or inappropriate to recognize that “we are all terminal.” The subject matter can be grim, but Trent’s tone is always light, and she provides diverse theological perspectives on death and the afterlife as well as other spiritual works concerning death for readers interested in further reading. Trent’s engaging approach and infectious enthusiasm will appeal to any reader concerned with end-of-life care and preparation, even those who, as Trent writes, “would rather die than talk about dying.”