Night of the Avenging Blowfish

January 3, 1994
Humor may be the most personal of all tastes, so it's difficult to forecast how many readers will construe same in Welter's second novel (after Begin to Exit Here ). One problem for many will be the oddly old-fashioned romance between narrator/Secret Service agent Doyle Coldiron and a White House secretary, not to mention Coldiron's mawkish musings on loneliness occasioned by that ill-fated relationship. And that's a big problem because, if the story here is about anything, it is about that romance, seemingly doomed because Natelle, the object of the agent's affections, is a married woman. The rest of the goings-on have to do with a phantom baseball game between the Secret Service and the CIA, and with Coldiron's fall into disfavor when he fails to stop the White House chef from serving Spam to the President and an honored guest (the chef is upset because the President, after eating a hot dog at a baseball game, suggested that he didn't receive such high quality food in the White House). Some of Welter's commentary on the national scene is dead-on. After the fired chef goes on national TV to suggest that the President thinks he's too good for ``ordinary food,'' for instance, the Leader of the Free World embarks on a public diet of Vienna sausages, wieners and the like: ``If it came from a dead animal and was held in low culinary esteem, the President made sure he was seen eating it.'' The overall effort, however, is strained. Suffice it to say that Weltner's humor is most likely an acquired taste.

May 1, 1994
Doyle Coldiron, a wisecracking but sensitive U.S. Secret Service agent, deplores his unhappily unmarried status. Miserably in love with Natelle, an already-married secretary to the president, Doyle consoles himself with drinking at the Nevermore Bar & Grill and planning covert ""spookball"" games between the Secret Service and the CIA. When demoted for failing to prevent the White House chef from serving Spam at a State dinner, Doyle confides in Natelle, who responds by revealing the semi-detached state of her marriage. Although predictable and peopled with characters who function primarily as foils for Doyle's ironic wit, this novel is frolicsome, sexy, and reflective. Similar in tone to Welter's well-received debut, Begin To Exit Here (LJ 3/1/92), it will be in demand by readers of popular fiction. Recommended.-Sheila Riley, Smithsonian Inst. Libs., Washington, D.C.