8 Keys to Old School Parenting for Modern-Day Families

April 6, 2015
Without naming names or citing literature, psychology professor Mascolo sets himself in opposition to “child-centered parenting” philosophies. This use of a murkily-defined straw man antagonist sets a combative tone that undermines what is otherwise a useful parenting guide. Mascolo provides a valuable explanation for how time-outs have become a form of punishment, transforming “what was initially meant to be a quiet break into a negative consequence for misbehavior.” He argues for “Removing the Negative” or “Earning by Learning,” two approaches that give the child agency and the opportunity for healthy development. In the first, the parent gives the child the opportunity to “get out of jail” by making a choice that complies with the parent’s wishes. In the second, the parent makes the effort to understand a child’s motivation for misbehavior and help the child develop related skills or reduce the fears causing the problem. Another section uses research on negotiation techniques to help parents guide their children in conflict resolution. This can be heady stuff—the author doesn’t shy from citing Aristotle when talking about moral character—but he breaks it down in a way that is accessible. Parents are likely to cherry-pick what’s constructive from what’s merely negative in this uneven book.