Training in Tenderness

Starred review from March 12, 2018
Kongtrul (The Intelligent Heart), a Tibetan Buddhist teacher, shows how the cultivation of tsewa (a Tibetan word for “the innate tenderness of our own heart”) can lead to increased personal happiness and positive change in this uplifting book. By comparing tsewa to natural elements such as oxygen, seeds, water, and trees, he explains why tsewa is fundamental to human well-being (underlying even such key Buddhist concepts as compassion and loving-kindness) and explores how it can be developed through self-inquiry. His discussions of letting go of grudges and using discernment to improve relationships are particularly strong as he describes how one negative experience, if processed through anger, can ripple through the mind to have negative affects on overall health. His approach is firmly grounded in Mahayana Buddhist concepts (such as the bodhisattva path of service to help all beings attain enlightenment), but Kongtrul offers general, accessible principles (such as resisting gut reactions and allowing time before making large decisions) that will work for readers who have no knowledge of Buddhism or any interest in meditation. With clarity, brevity, and grace, Kongtrul ably conveys his hopeful vision that all individuals can “live a life full of joy, meaning, and profound value to the world.”