Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People

May 16, 2005
Following up on The Power of Nice
, agent-attorney Shapiro and fellow negotiator Jankowski reiterate that book's tenets: Neutralize your emotions and stay rational; Identify the type of difficult person; Control the encounter; and Explore options. Using examples from their own lives as well as pop culture, they offer anecdotes and tips for analysis. The "situationally difficult" person may be temporarily overreacting, so empathy can be a sure road to cordial defusion. The "strategically difficult" are calculating (passive-aggressive, take it or leave it, etc.), but can be countered if you pleasantly, even humorously make them aware you're onto their game. The "simply difficult," using power as an imperative (irrational, bullying, duplicitous, etc.) are the toughest, but those facing them must recognize their own power—including the option to just walk away, a decision that must be approached carefully. While the title may be the best thing about the book, its tips on steering toward win-win situations are more than plausible.

June 1, 2005
The authors offer their blueprint to "outnegotiate, outsmart, outmaneuver, outlast, outlogic, outthink and outwin life's bullies, tyrants, and impossible people--without becoming one yourself." Their approach to getting what you want (in business and personal relationships) with difficult people employs the acronym NICE--Neutralize your emotions, Identify type, Control the encounter, and Explore options. With suggested techniques and case studies, we learn to handle the Situationally Difficult, those who have had a bad day and take it out on you; the Strategically Difficult, those who believe being unreasonable is effective (and it often is); and the Simply Difficult, those with ingrained personality characteristics that negatively affect their behavior. Their final directive refutes the value of revenge and discusses the strategy of walking away. With thoughtful planning and analysis, Shapiro and coauthors present a set of positive steps to resolve intractable situations. This excellent book will appeal to a broad range of library patrons.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2005, American Library Association.)