The Truth About Children and Divorce

August 1, 2004
Psychology professor Emery knows firsthand how difficult divorce can be for children. He has an adult daughter from his first marriage, and while he regrets some of his behavior with regard to his ex-wife, he also recognizes that he and his former spouse were effective parents. When there are children, a divorce doesn't end a husband-wife relationship. Emery believes too many couples say they don't want their children hurt by their divorce, but the children still end up stuck in the middle, almost always facing discomfort. So, Emery writes,"The first order of business is negotiating a working relationship with your ex." Emery explains how to establish and develop the foundation of a co-parenting partnership by understanding emotions, managing anger and setting boundaries. Drawing on examples from his clients, he elaborates upon how individuals can agree on custody arrangements, schedules, discipline and other issues. In a relaxed style, Emery elucidates a very stressful subject. He doesn't sugarcoat the situation; one of his examples is about a vindictive couple whose children are hurt by their anger over the failed marriage. His book will benefit parents going through divorce, as well as attorneys and therapists who work with divorcing parents and their children.