The No-Good Nine

September 1, 2018
Nine (or thereabouts) Depression-era Naughty Listers set out to petition Santa for toys rather than coal in their stockings.It all begins when the "Know-It-All," aka Peter Czapylynsky, finds a partially burned page from Santa's Naughty List in his fireplace on Christmas morning and, outraged to have gotten only coal, reaches out to others on the list with a scheme to see justice done. According to archetypically unreliable narrator Luigi Curidi, a self-described "poor and dirty Italian kid," the quarrelsome questers (almost never exactly nine in number) trade in their given names for appropriate nicknames such as the "Hooligan" and the "Thief"--Luigi opts for the "Liar." Bankrolled by the rich but thoroughly spoiled "Brat," they travel north from Pittsburgh by train, dog sled, and finally mail boat--arriving after many adventures at a certain unmapped island in Baffin Bay to discover that the latest in a line of elected Santas has autocratically turned the Toy Factory into a smoke-belching sweatshop. Worse lies in store, though, as first a devastating fire and then the arrival of devious bootlegger Mummy Rummy spell a future producing not toys but liquor and firearms for the American mob. Can the Nine (or so) find a way to beat the baddies, unionize the elvish workers, and save Christmas? With help from a lively opening rogues' gallery by Mock, Marciano creates a cast of ragamuffins diverse in race, gender, ethnic background, social class, and temperament.A tongue-in-cheek romp with currently topical overtones. (Fantasy. 11-13)

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September 24, 2018
In Depression-era Pittsburgh, a “Know-It-All” kid finds a segment of Santa’s naughty list, organizes a diverse crew of his listed compatriots, and sets out to petition the end of Christmas coal—saving Christmas and unionizing elves along the way. Narrated unreliably by the group’s “Liar” (“The secret to making up stuff is to give your stories a hint of truth”), and funded by the wealthy “Brat,” the journey progresses with madcap speed as the band of nine (or so—the number changes throughout in a running gag) heads to Santa’s Workshop by rail, dogsled, and boat. En route to meeting an autocratic, holiday industry–obsessed Santa, they flee a Russian truant officer, fall in with gold-toothed rumrunner Mummy Rummy, and begin to move beyond their bad-seed monikers (“Cruel” and “Hooligan” among them). With as many laughs and double-crosses as befits a band of naughty-listers, the tale offers raucous holiday adventuring with a gentle political bent. “Nine for one, and one for nine.” Ages 9–12.