The Ethan I Was Before

Starred review from October 24, 2016
Debut author Standish boldly tackles themes of death, guilt, and forgiveness in this tender coming-of-age story. Twelve-year-old Ethan Truitt blames himself for a tragic accident involving his best friend, Kacey. To help Ethan recover, his parents uproot the family from their Boston home and move to Georgia. In the town of Palm Knot, Ethan tries to adapt to living in his grumpy Grandpa Ike’s dilapidated house, fit in at school, and avoid his older brother, Roddie, who is angry about the family’s relocation. Ethan befriends a imaginative and daring girl named Coralee, and the two are soon having the kinds of adventures Ethan once shared with Kacey and thought he’d never have again. While building suspense by withholding what exactly happened between Ethan and Kacey until well into the story, Standish movingly conveys Ethan’s persistent grief and guilt, which Coralee and others helps him think about in new ways. Readers will be riveted as Ethan, his family, and other well-developed characters face the somber realities of life head on. Ages 8–12. Agent: Sarah Davies, Greenhouse Literary.

November 1, 2016
A grieving boy befriends an unconventional girl in a small Southern town in Standish's debut. Twelve-year-old Ethan, his parents, and his older brother move from Boston to live with his grandfather in Palm Knot, Georgia, ostensibly so they can help Grandpa Ike as he ages but actually, says Ethan, "because of what I did to Kacey." At his new school, Ethan, who is white, befriends a small, feisty black girl, Coralee, who seems on the outs with most of the other students for reasons that are not clear. Coralee leads Ethan through strange adventures--investigating an abandoned house, stealing and restealing jewels--as narrator Ethan gradually relates his history: that he dared his best friend, Kacey, to climb a tree and she fell; she's not dead, but she's in a coma. Much of Standish's writing is smooth, but her characters often act inconsistently, seemingly in order to further the plot, as when Grandpa Ike, who otherwise ignores the family, teaches Ethan to drive his truck. Ethan's own deceptive self-narration seems designed to string readers along. The improbable ending falls short of being emotionally satisfying, probably because the emotions expressed in it don't ring true. This is the sort of melodramatic story that relies on the characters never telling each other the whole truth; add that to being yet another book about a tragic medical situation for a miss. (Fiction. 8-12)

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February 1, 2017

Gr 4-6-Ethan and his family relocate from Boston to Palm Knot, GA, ostensibly to help Ethan's grandfather as he gets older. Yet it quickly becomes clear that the real reason is Ethan; he has experienced a tragic incident involving his best friend Kasey, and his parents think a new place will bring a new start. On top of Ethan's guilt from the accident, he must make new friends at school, deal with his brother Roddie's dissatisfaction with their new home, and witness the arguments between his mother and grandfather, who don't get along for mysterious reasons. This title is packed with conflict and familial and personal strife. Debut author Standish skillfully weaves the events and characters into the fabric of a story that is emotionally charged and well-developed. Ethan is a sensitive and lost soul, grappling with the emotions of a typical adolescent boy and the turmoil of a traumatic event. His new friend Coralee is exciting and enticing and the kind of friend any young person might wish for or strive to be. Ethan's grandfather is also an amusing and fascinating character, wise and sympathetic to the struggling Ethan. As the mysteries unfold-What was the accident, and how did Kasey get hurt? Who is the mystery woman in the creepy house down the lane? Why don't Grandpa and Ethan's mother get along?-there is never a dull moment, and the rapid pace keeps readers engaged.

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