You Don't Want a Unicorn!

December 12, 2016
Unicorns: splendiferous magical delight or mythological menace? Dyckman (Horrible Bear!) suggests the latter in this cautionary tale. After a boy wearing an “I unicorns” T-shirt tosses a coin into a fountain, a white unicorn with a voluminous purple mane manifests in a shower of rainbows and stars. The boy is delighted, the unseen narrator not so much. “Sure, having a unicorn seems fun—at first,” the narrator says. “Fine! It’s awesome, okay?!” But this admission is followed by several negatives: unicorns shed, slice furniture to ribbons, and can’t be housetrained. Climo (the Rory the Dinosaur books) creates gleeful unicorn havoc in her droll cartoons as the boy’s new pet sheds golden sparkles, belches rainbows, and more (readers will never look at cupcakes the same way after the house-training scene). After an ultradestructive unicorn party involving a herd decked out in bows, leg warmers, and sunglasses, the boy learns his lesson (sort of). The ending fizzles, but there’s a lot of mischievous fun to be had getting there. Ages 4–8. Author’s agent: Scott Treimel, Scott Treimel N.Y. Illustrator’s agent: Kathleen Ortiz, New Leaf Literary & Media.

November 15, 2016
A child ignores the advice of an unknown narrator and learns by experience why a pet unicorn is a bad idea.On the title double-page spread, digitized, cartoon artwork shows a light-skinned, brown-haired child clutching a toy unicorn and moving along a park path toward a public fountain. As the child reaches the fountain on the next page, large, black letters overhead declare, "WAIT!" On the next page, the lettering further addresses the child: "You were gonna wish for a unicorn, weren't you? Wishing for a unicorn is a BIG MISTAKE!" When the child drops a coin in anyway, a white unicorn with purple mane appears, looking rather a lot like a horse-sized My Little Pony with a horn. As the child flies above parked cars on unicorn-back, the voice admits that, initially, there are advantages to having a unicorn. There follows a series of pages showing the disadvantages, as the unicorn sheds, tears up the child's home, poops smelly pink cupcakes, and burps a rainbow. The child is still unconvinced, until the "biggest, top secret, nobody-knows-about-it problem" occurs. (Hint: unicorns are social animals.) The text is snarky-conversational with a contemporarily colloquial feel. On first read, children may enjoy the funny pictures and silly text and situations, but, rather like a rainbow-colored belch, it's not substantial enough to sustain many return visits. Best seen as a joke gift for a unicorn lover. (Picture book. 2-6)

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