Grown-ups Never Do That

July 15, 2019
Hypocrisy, thy name is grown-up: that’s what a bunch of kid sleuths discover when they tail the adults in their lives in this picture book from frequent collaborators Cali and Chaud (I Didn’t Do My Homework Because...). As the text offers a litany of all the things that mature people purportedly don’t do (“They never cheat. They never sulk” and so on), the disguise-clad children—who observe their subjects from behind couches, in trees, through an improbable tennis-court trapdoor, and behind many, many bushes—catch grown-ups doing the exact opposite. They speak with their mouths full, blame the dog for a DIY disaster, neglect chores (one character lolls in a hammock and attempts to push a mower with his toes), and—an oldie but goodie—swear up a storm. The recitation of “They never...” may grow a little tiresome for some, but comically elegant, jewel-toned vignettes by Chaud, which detail an entire page of adult klutzes, a cheating chess player, and an amusing four-panel sequence of a father staring at his phone from breakfast to bedtime, hit the mark every time. Ages 5–8.

August 1, 2019
A compendium of expectation-upsetting moves performed by oblivious adults. The prose is straightforward, belied by colorful illustrations. An elegantly dressed woman bashes a bewildered, bespectacled gent with a large blue painting; caption: "Adults never misbehave." A dad who has apparently stepped on a child's Lego is several feet in the air, eyes bulging and tongue sticking out in pain; caption: "They never yell." A double-page spread of examples, 10 in all, accompanies the caption, "They're never clumsy." Two mountains of colorful papers flank a woman at her desk: "They're never messy." (She is about to pull a single piece of paper from the middle of a pile, toppling a cup of coffee.) A tennis match illustrates two of Cali's tongue-in-cheek observations. On one side of the net, a player is thumbing her nose ("They never make funny faces") while on the other, a player stomps angrily on her racket ("They never lose their temper"). There are 23 dubious claims in all, every one delightfully illustrated with irony-laden wit. The author's concluding advice: "So you really should be just like them." The child who's been taking notes on all of this might beg to differ. Cali's delightfully droll text is apt in its minimalism; Chaud's pictures and fairly diversely cast consistently earn laughter. Hilarious. (Picture book. 3-10)

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