Unhooked Generation

November 28, 2005
Straus, a producer for The Oprah Winfrey Show,
has lived an independent life typical of her Gen-X peers. But in this perceptive book, based on interviews with 100 heterosexual singles across the country, she concludes that the myriad choices enjoyed by 20- and 30-somethings have led to a sense of hopelessness and cynicism about relationships and a deep fear of commitment that's often felt as a "fear of settling." She lists cultural factors that place obstacles in the way of intimacy, among them an obsessive focus on independence and career, the aftereffects of feminism, and reliance on distancing new technologies such as instant messaging and online personals. Straus writes in a lively style replete with buzzwords, yet offers tough conclusions. While both men and women have impossible expectations, Straus observes that Gen-Xers prefer to "upgrade" rather than work on a relationship. And the compulsion to have lots of casual sex with attractive partners conflicts with the goal of finding a mate. The book ends with stories of couples who have succeeded in finding and keeping love. Straus argues convincingly that in order to open yourself to love, you cannot keep your options open—you have to commit all the way.

January 15, 2006
Hoping to get to the heart of what she identifies as a romantic crisis facing Gen Xers, Straus, a television producer who worked for eight years on The Oprah Winfrey Show, interviewed 100 heterosexual single men and women living in six U.S. cities. What she found is an almost universal desire for true love and commitment despite repeated failures at sustaining relationships. Using her single people's stories and frank tales from her own dating life as evidence, Straus blames the -Seven Evil Influences - of contemporary culture, from an extreme focus on careers to cell phones. The book ends with a few anecdotes of successful dating and a list of the five -keys - to finding true love. At times, the continual references to the -Evil Influences - grate, placing the self-help aspect of the material self-consciously front and center; the sociological aspect of the book, though somewhat unscientific, is ultimately the most intriguing. Considering the popularity of Liz Tuccillo and Greg Behrendt's recent He's Just Not That into You, this will most likely prove an in-demand read. Recommended for large public libraries and specialized collections." -Amanda Glasbrenner, New York"

Copyright 2006 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

February 15, 2006
A new book tackles the 18-to-35-year-old generation's problems--those they face and those they create.Straus' enlightening book focuses on the generation's inability to form lasting romantic relationships. People are marrying later than ever, and many can't seem to find the person they're looking for. Straus outlines seven problems hampering the unhooked generation, including a focus on self and an expectation that love should not involve work or suffering; how the Internet and speed-dating parties have introduced a plethora of ways to meet people, causing many singles to always be looking, even while in a stable relationship; the glossy glamour and unreality of celebrity relationships that lead people to have unrealistic expectations; and so many people putting off marriage that they become less willing to compromise. Straus offers hope by interviewing several happy couples who have forged strong relationships based on love, compromise, and realistic expectations. (Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2006, American Library Association.)