The Downside of Being Up

August 15, 2011

The story of a boy and his boners.

"Weinerschnitzel." "Wang." "Sky-high pork pipe." "Baloney pony." Those are just some of the names 13-year-old Bobby calls his errant penis (within the first three pages), which becomes erect at the most inconvenient times. After accidently shocking his math teacher into early retirement when she gets a gander at his tent pole, Bobby is sentenced to several hours of school therapy with a counselor who needs couch time herself. In addition, he must deal with his clueless parents, randy grandfather, angry sister and moronic best friend, Finkelstein. His life is further complicated by the fact that he has a crush on the new math teacher's daughter and doesn't know how to ask her to the Big Dance. Will Bobby's wayward pecker continue to obstruct his path to true love? To say this lacks the subtlety and character development of Judy Blume's classic male-puberty title, Then Again, Maybe I Won't (1971), is putting it lightly. Stereotypical characterizations combined with a plot that reads like a rejected Family Guy script assure that the novel will find an enthusiastic audience with middle-school boys who share Sitomer's dubious sense of humor, if with no one else. However, the excessive penis and fart jokes may tire even them.

As a highly specific thesaurus it excels; as a story, not so much. Alan Cumyn covers much the same ground with considerably more nuance, though for slightly older readers, in Tilt (2011). (Fiction. 12-14)

(COPYRIGHT (2011) KIRKUS REVIEWS/NIELSEN BUSINESS MEDIA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.)

December 1, 2011

Gr 6-8-Eighth-grader Bobby Connor considers himself a normal kid, "not a dork, a jock, a brain, a freak or a perv." But he has a problem: "I have absolutely no control over what goes on in my pants. I get eighteen boners a day. Literally." And since middle-school students are not usually known for sensitivity to others, it is understandable that Bobby's erection in math class has many consequences: a permanent source of torment, a career-ending accident for the teacher, and the choice between either "correctional erectional analysis" or expulsion from school. When the new math teacher arrives with his daughter, Allison, she becomes the only normal character in Bobby's otherwise dysfunctional world-in spite of her father's dislike of him. Bobby's narration is likely to appeal to adolescent boys who might find his dilemma and the gross habits of a neighbor and Bobby's grandfather humorous. However, readers are likely to tire of the repetition (after all, how many synonyms for an erection or a penis can one chuckle over?). Not surprisingly, Bobby's parents and grandfather, as well as the other adults portrayed, have issues with sexuality and with interpersonal relationships, including Bobby's therapist. The conclusion is mercifully swift, and it is pat. While emerging sexuality is a real issue for young people, puberty, sexuality, and emotional turmoil are presented here in the flippant, tedious tone of a repeated joke that quickly wears thin.-Maria B. Salvadore, formerly at Washington DC Public Library

Copyright 2011 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Starred review from October 1, 2011
Grades 6-8 *Starred Review* At 13, Bobby suffers from a typical developmental concern: he is plagued by inopportunely timed erections. What is atypical is Sitomer's fearless comic treatment of this taboo subject. When not bedeviled by wayward woodies, Bobby also suffers from second-rate parents, a school staff that would give any kid nightmares, and a guilty conscience about how his younger sister came to miss so much school that she's been left a grade behind. When Bobby fails to talk his math teacher out of forcing him to walk up to the board during one of his unwanted episodes, she is so surprised by the sight of his tented trousers that she takes a tumble. This leaves the school no choice but to hire a counselor named Dr. Cox (yes, really) to provide Bobby with erection correction counseling. It is impossible to dislike this pun-filled tale of how Bobby reigns victorious over his parents, his pants, and the new girl, whose dad objects to her accompanying Bobby to the school dance. While it isn't (ahem) hard to imagine that some schools will worry about the effects of this story upon innocent middle-schoolers, the truth is that this fiction provides some long-needed realism, served up by a narrator who knows what he is talking about.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2011, American Library Association.)