19 1/2 Spells Disguised As Poems

The first thing you should know about this book is that it's DEFINITELY NOT a collection of actual magic spells because magic isn't real, obviously. Disguising spells as a collection of poems is the kind of wickedly brilliant thing that only an absolute supervillain would do, and this poet is not any kind of supervillain. He's an actual poet who's won awards and everything and certainly wouldn't disguise a series of spells as a collection of poems about zombies, monsters, and rapping grandmas. What a ridiculous suggestion! 

"If you only read one book this year...you aren't reading enough books. What is wrong with you? Read more books. And this should be one of them." – Frederick von Happenstance, third Earl of Notwitheringshire

"I asked my grandma to buy me a book to help me with my spelling but she didn't hear me properly and she bought me this book of spells instead. I am very happy with it and in unrelated news my annoying brother has been mysteriously turned into a goldfish." – Cynthia Newtonberry, aspiring wizard, age 9 and three quarters 

"This is the worst recipe book I have ever read." – Agatha Malpractice, professional lip-reader and amateur lip-syncer

"A delicious, low-calorie snack with a zesty flavour." – Blurck, bookworm.