Lies at the Altar

Starred review from July 10, 2006
Gentle voice notwithstanding, psychologist (and national television personality) Smith pulls no punches and minces no words in her heartfelt caution against the danger in believing "that you don't
need what you do
need." Truth is the theme here, and Smith guides listeners in how to recognize it, speak it and make it a part of the marriage. Although targeted to women who suppress themselves in order to be in a relationship, men are not left out. Smith's candid examples from her own failed marriage and those of the troubled couples she counsels ably illustrate her points. The first CD lists the top 10 lies about relationships (including "You can learn to live with the things that make you unhappy") together with their corresponding truths ("Suffering is not love"). The second CD explains how couples can make each marriage vow real. The third CD's bonus material is equally valuable: a set of 275 questions (viewable in Adobe reader) to ask before you marry. Smith succeeds admirably in taking the microscope to the myriad actions and words couples automatically do and say, and explaining how questioning them can lead to a more authentic marriage. Simultaneous release with Hyperion hardcover.

May 1, 2006
A regular guest on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" psychologist Smith (marriage & family, Eastern Baptist Theological Seminary) challenges individuals contemplating marriage or those already married for any number of years to examine and write/rewrite their marriage vows. She explains that most couples, owing to self-deception or immaturity, fail to study their values and choices and simply assume love will magically triumph over truth and reality. Using phrases from traditional nondenominational American wedding vows as chapter headings, Smith counsels couples on how to communicate their ideals, beliefs, and preferences through thought-provoking quizzes and exercises. In the chapter titled -Forsaking All Others, - for example, she asks the couple to imagine being seated at the center of a -marriage table - among friends, relatives, and others in the past, present, and future. She then encourages them to discuss how they, as a couple, will relate to these significant individuals. For those thinking about marriage, Smith provides 276 questions for discussion on topics ranging from money, politics, and work to leisure, gender roles, and issues of everyday living. Recommended for popular psychology collections in public libraries." -Lucille M. Boone, San Jose P.L., CA"

Copyright 2006 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.