The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart

February 8, 2010
Known primarily for books on relationships (Coming Apart
), Kingma’s latest is a lifeline for those in the isolating depths of personal tragedy. Its purpose is to hold, to heal, and to listen, and it comes from a very real place: a friend of the author’s in the midst of physical and financial hardships asked for a list of 10 practices to survive his crisis. With chapters dedicated to the necessity of tears, the freedom of letting go, and the fulfillment found in simple living, these techniques are all about practicality. Realistic indeed, yet underlying the straightforward advice is an enlivening spiritual message that isn’t content with just soldiering on through the darkness. “Rather than being random assaults from an uncaring universe, the difficulties you are going through have meaning and purpose,” the author writes. Kingma relates her worldly and spiritual survival tools in graceful prose and includes illustrative, though somewhat broad, real-life stories of people who rise above catastrophe. This work is about more than just getting by; it directs the reader toward transcendence and peace.

Starred review from February 15, 2010
Kingma ("Real Life, Real Love") writes for readers whose lives are being wrenched apart by sudden job loss, the death of a loved one, financial ruin, or a dire medical diagnosis. When any of these things happens, either separately or simultaneously, Kingma offers a list of ten ways whereby readers can eventually learn that their difficulties have meaning and purpose. A particularly helpful lesson urges letting go of coping strategies that no longer work. For those lost in the turbulence of life, Kingma offers a genuine hand through.

Copyright 2010 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.