Logged In and Stressed Out

October 15, 2020
In this empathetic manual, Pennsylvania-based mental health counselor Durlofsky shares parables about patients whose lives have been affected by over-involvement with social media. Durlofsky couches her observations via standard references (Maslow's hierarchy of needs; Festinger's social comparison theory) and examines why so many of us find social media addictive, why we place so much importance on the number of friends and followers we amass, and why these intangible presences loom so large in our psyches. Maintaining a sympathetic tone, she offers lists of helpful strategies for dealing with adverse emotions, unhealthy relationships, FOMO, and hurtful comparisons?amounting to practical actions applicable to both in-person and virtual situations that go beyond simple exhortations to disconnect. Additional chapters deal with romantic break-ups, mourning, emotional pain, and the dangers of using technology as avoidance medication. Her major take-aways ring true, no matter what arena: develop self-compassion, practice self-care, find your "e-tribe," and try to achieve balance. Readers may have heard these suggestions before, but the specific spin, addressing digital dependency, makes the advice timely and fresh.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2020, American Library Association.)

November 9, 2020
Psychologist Durlofsky debuts with an empowering take on the impact of social media on mental heatlh. If people are mindful about their expectations, she argues, and focus on the benefits of one’s online life to real-life friendships, social media can actually help change “behaviors, attitudes, and personalities” for the better. Through short case studies, Durlofsky provides examples of how social media can help with building new relationships, healing from breakups, and finding support while struggling with issues like substance abuse or depression. Durlofsky’s skill-building strategies at the end of each chapter—avoid absolute statements, take up mindfulness meditation, enjoy time alone—form the core of her advice for helping readers to create meaningful social interactions. In addition to guidance on online behavior, Durlofsky provides real-life practices based in tenets of relational psychology; a particularly illuminating section covers the “eight developmental crises” each person must make it through in life, and argues that, during the “digital age,” the “love versus isolation” phase during one’s teenage years has become a watershed moment of “developing the skills for establishing and forming lifelong intimate relations.” Durlofsky’s practical work will provide insight to any reader looking to creating a safe, healthy digital space.