If I Disappear

October 26, 2020
YA author Brazier (The Life and Death Parade as Eliza Wass) makes her adult debut with a gripping psychological thriller. As Sera Fleece’s life disintegrates post-divorce, she becomes increasingly obsessed with a true crime podcast hosted by Rachel Bard, who focuses on the disappearances of young women. Then Rachel vanishes, a turn of events that shakes Sera out of her lassitude and sends her to Rachel’s hometown in Northern California, where she is determined to use the podcasts’ lessons to find the missing podcast host. From Sera’s first glimpse of the remote guest ranch Rachel’s parents run, there’s a palpable sense of menace. Strangely, neither the senior Bards nor their ruggedly handsome ranch hand appear overly worried about Rachel, and tight-lipped townsfolk warn Sera to get out—fast. Despite a hairpin final turn that’s far more startling than satisfying, this novel poses some provocative questions concerning women’s roles and the risk of “disappearing” if those roles are defied. Blending the true crime compulsion of Michelle McNamara’s I’ll Be Gone in the Dark with the immersive creepy-craziness of Gillian Flynn’s Sharp Objects, Brazier creates a heady, pitch-dark cocktail all her own. Agent: Sarah Bedingfield, Levine Greenberg Rostan Literary.

Kristen Sieh narrates this fast-paced, twisted listen with perfect pacing. Sera is divorced and disconnected from her family. She becomes obsessed with true crime--particularly the podcast "Murder, She Spoke," which is narrated by a young woman named Rachel. When Rachel goes missing, Sera is convinced that only she can find out what happened. Sieh expertly transitions through the tension, desperation, and paranoia as Sera inserts herself into Rachel's former life and investigates her disappearance. When Sera shifts from reciting key points of Rachel's episodes to speaking as though she is the podcast host, it can be difficult to follow at times. However, the unexpected conclusion makes this worth a listen. K.S.M. � AudioFile 2021, Portland, Maine