If You Ever Want to Bring a Pirate to Meet Santa, Don't!

September 1, 2018
A rollicking adventure awaits as Magnolia races into a store with her Christmas list trailing behind her. In the vein of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, this cumulative story explains why "pirates are on the naughty list." Magnolia is superexcited to meet Santa at the mall. The little girl decides to let a "bearded guy with a red suit and a bag full of treasures" who is definitely not Santa (he's fishing pennies out of a fountain) join her family in the long line, promising her father that she'll teach the pirate some manners. There'll be no pillaging or plundering in the Santa line! But the pirate isn't interested in manners. He bellows, "OOOOOOOOOH! / A hog-eye ship! And a hog-eye crew! / A hog-eye mate! And a skipper too!" at the top of his lungs, alarming the other people in line. The pirate is highly entertaining, the father oblivious, and the wait seemingly endless. But Magnolia takes charge until the pirate "changes his scurvy ways." Fun, brightly colored illustrations (digitally drawn and painted) are perfect for the cartoonlike characters with exaggerated features. Varied perspectives amp the silliness high. The pirate epitomizes the conflicted feelings of a kid wanting to be patient and good so that their parents will reward them and bursting out with loud, bad behavior because they just can't sit still. Magnolia, who appears to be Asian, is the oldest sibling in her interracial family; both Santa and the pirate present white.Fans of the Magnolia Says Don't! series and of mild chaos will get a kick out of this. (Picture book. 4-7)

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September 24, 2018
Pirate meets Santa—what could possibly go wrong? In this holiday-themed addition to the series that began with If You Want to Bring an Alligator to School, Don’t!, an enthusiastic heroine buddies up with a pirate while waiting to see Santa. Following her “don’t do as I do” formula, Parsley describes the pirate’s naughty-list shenanigans, which include interrupting Christmas carolers with a round of sea chanteys and brandishing a swordfish at the crowd. With the pirate’s red suit, scraggly beard, and Jolly Roger bandana, he looks like Santa’s creepy, long lost sibling. An elf freak-out and Santa walking the (mall fountain) plank ratchets up the chaos. Readers should appreciate that the pirate’s moment of redemption is quickly eclipsed by his undeniably naughty nature. Ages 4–8.

October 1, 2018

PreS-Gr 2-Is it possible that more than one child would decide to bring a pirate to meet Santa? Magnolia warns readers what will happen, just in case. She and her family are in line to meet Santa, a "bearded guy with a red suit and a bag full of treasures." Magnolia finds another guy fitting the description at the mall. He also sports a skull and crossbones bandana and happens to be taking coins from a fountain. She befriends the pirate and brings him along to meet Santa. The line is long and Magnolia soon learns that pirates don't share, sing Christmas carols, wait patiently, or take nice pictures with Santa. When the pirate makes Santa walk the plank and then Santa and his elves leave, Magnolia realizes there is only one thing to do: put the pirate in time out until he changes his ways! Or better yet, just don't bring a pirate to meet Santa. Digital cartoon illustrations show the chaotic aftermath of Magnolia's bad choice. VERDICT You don't need to be a pirate aficionado to enjoy this outrageously naughty addition to the holiday shelves.-Kelly Roth, Bartow County Public Library, Cartersville, GA

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