Little Matches

February 15, 2021
The story of a mother's heartbreaking loss and her quest for answers to life's tough questions. O'Hara's daughter, Caitlin, was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at age 2. During their decadeslong wait for a lung transplant, the author began using a blog to provide updates about Caitlin's condition to their family and friends. Despite her illness, Caitlin remained largely optimistic throughout her life, pursuing her interests, attending college, and traveling extensively before her death in her early 30s. As O'Hara shows, her daughter believed in taking advantage of every opportunity and inspired others to do the same. Over the years, the author received comments from strangers regarding the inspiration and strength that her own and Caitlin's posts provided when facing their own circumstances of grief and loss. "I savor every message," writes O'Hara, "the words that keep her alive for a little while longer for the moments it takes to read them. They inspire me to keep writing about her--why not, if it helps people so much? It's the one thing I can do that feels right." Because much of her life was spent as a mother and caregiver of a sick child, Caitlin's death left her understandably bereft: "Now what am I for?" Throughout this heartfelt memoir, which weaves in content from emails, text messages, and journal entries, O'Hara opens up about the private thoughts, fears, hopes, and disappointments that consumed their lives over the three decades they waited for a transplant. O'Hara also shares details of her spiritual quest, including intriguing readings with psychic mediums as well as incredible synchronicities that she and her daughter shared. In expressing her emotions on the page, O'Hara will help others in similar situations. "The timeline of grief is not linear," she writes, "and I'm learning that my openness about grief's persistence is valuable to others who are inclined to hide pain." A raw yet comforting journal of grief, pain, and sparks of hope.

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April 1, 2021

In this vividly written memoir featuring text messages, blog posts, and emails, novelist O'Hara (Cascade) shares a painful but ultimately beautiful account of her daughter Caitlin's life with cystic fibrosis. Little Matches depicts an unbreakable mother-daughter bond, as well as the crushing heartbreak that can come with living alongside chronic illness. In the hopes of discovering new beginnings after a tragic ending, O'Hara recounts the ways she tried to keep her daughter and their connection alive, even after her death. Revealing that our bodies may be temporary while we live on in those whose lives we touched, this memoir is a meditation on coming to terms with both the inevitable and the unknown. Including two unbearable years on a lung transplant waiting list, living in perpetual uncertainty, and a desperate search for meaning in the aftermath of loss, this account is devastating, but at its core is a message of hope about the endurance of love beyond death. VERDICT O'Hara shares her sorrow with honesty and elegance, and her compelling story will resonate with anyone seeking a light in the darkest depths of grief.--Alana Quarles, Fairfax County P.L., Alexandria, VA

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