Did I Say That Out Loud?

February 15, 2021
The second collection of breezy essays from the former editor-in-chief of Real Simple, who is now a literary agent. For years, at Real Simple and as a columnist for Time (where many of these essays were previously published), van Ogtrop offered American women practical guidance on how to order their lives, careers, and homes. Like Just Let Me Lie Down, her latest does the same, dispensing advice in chapters with titles like "How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Roomba," "The Shalom Ambulette, or How To Know If Your Career Is Over," and "My Own Style of She Shed: More Vodka, Less Gingerbread Trim." The collection is a mix of personal anecdotes, humor, and self-help bromides, much of which is either glib or strained. For example: "Your friends keep you level and help you remain anchored when you feel like you are slipping....They illuminate the path before you." The author is at her best when she stops trying to be overly clever and writes in a straightforward, genuine voice. "Rebel Love," about the loss of a family dog, is particularly moving, as is "Aging Parents and the Long Goodbye," which the title perfectly describes. If van Ogtrop has the tendency to cast clich�s as life lessons, she is also willing to admit that she doesn't have all the answers. "My father has opinions on everything," she writes in "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love" (an overused title if there ever was one). "And yet when I e-mailed to ask him the secret to a long marriage, he never responded. I don't quite understand why. But I also haven't pressed him on it. And I don't understand that either." The author has her moments, but if she had spent more time honing her craft and admitting to what she doesn't understand, there would have been a lot more. A mixed-results platter of humor and life lessons.

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Starred review from May 10, 2021
Van Ogtrop (Just Let Me Lie Down), former editor of Real Simple magazine, takes a humorous look at middle age in this insightful outing. Written “for the woman who has perhaps stopped caring about things,” van Ogtrop’s essays are eminently relatable, covering the dangers of eating a salad without glasses, the joys of a Roomba vacuum cleaner, and the struggles of insomnia. “I Can Smell My Pillow” is an entertaining take on hormones: “although a woman has fifty hormones in her body, estrogen is the president and right now everything is her fault.” “The Shalom Ambulette, or How to Know if Your Career Is Over” covers van Ogtrop’s professional achievements and the tremendous loss she felt after leaving her job, and “My Fratermily” is a funny take on the messiness of living with three sons. Nearly every topic is fair game—droopy breasts, losing friends, and trying to keep up with her children as they jump from Facebook to Twitter to Instagram (the author raises the white flag at Snapchat)—and van Ogtrop’s tone is casual and welcoming. This thoughtful, quirky mix of meditations hits the spot. Agent: Richard Pine, InkWell Management.