Nothing Personal

March 15, 2021
Despite the title, a very personal--and thoroughly researched--memoir of dating younger men. In this warm, witty, and rigorously honest memoir, a "Confessions of an English Opium-Eater-type expos� on dating apps," Sales takes us behind the scenes of her work as a journalist and filmmaker and her own experiences with Tinder. The most affecting of these involved a mostly irresistible, sometimes disappointing young man she calls Abel, 23 to her 49 when they met, with whom she remained involved for four years, while both continued swiping and hooking up with others. The author, "a single mom by choice," managed to keep her daughter, Zazie, in the dark about her love life--thank God for summer camp--and relied on a supportive network of friends and the proprietors of her neighborhood bar and cafe to help her keep some perspective on her experiences. Ironically, the same year she met Abel, Sales went to war with Tinder by publishing in Vanity Fair what was apparently the first article to criticize the dating app. The company fought back with a smear campaign, but Sales continued working--and dating. On the memoir side, Sales writes engagingly about her parents and her coming-of-age in Florida waiting tables in their hippie diner, and she takes us through some failed relationships, her successful journalism career, and stories of dating during the pandemic. The personal narrative is illuminated by often chilling research--e.g., a 2014 Harvard Business School study that "should dispel any notion that millennial men 'see women as equals' " or a 2019 survey that found "31 percent of the women...reported being sexually assaulted or raped by someone they had met through an online dating site. Sales makes it abundantly clear that it's not pretty out there. Against all odds, this unsparing, must-read portrait of modern dating and sex is also a love story.

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April 15, 2021
As a single mom on the precipice of 50, Sales downloads Tinder on a whim. She invites readers to embark on a swipe-by-swipe voyeuristic odyssey through her romantic misadventures, dick pics and all. She quickly levels up from dating app amateur to expert. As an award-winning journalist, she investigates the so-called dating revolution brought on by Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and others. She interviews people from all walks of life about their online dating horror stories, unveiling the dark side of contemporary dating culture. Sales has filmed an HBO documentary and often writes thoughtful articles that analyze the harm caused by Big Dating, an industry that profits from loneliness and heartbreak. A breath of fresh air, she doesn't hold back when it comes to critiquing online dating, and she shares her own experience with equally brutal honesty. Sales nails the confounding ordeal of grappling with singledom and COVID-19 at the same time, a unique aspect of this book that will resonate with many readers. Relatable, hilarious, heart-breaking, and eye-opening, Nothing Personal is an updated Sex and the City.

COPYRIGHT(2021) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

April 16, 2021

With this latest work, best-selling author Sales (American Girls; The Bling Ring) adds her voice to the conversation about dating apps and societal expectations that reduce unpartnered women's bodies and identities to sociosexual disposability. She shares her personal dating mishaps and misgivings about dating apps in raw, rhetorically sophisticated anecdotes that draw attention to broader issues of sex, sexuality, aging, isolation, and the value we give ourselves and others. As Sales attempts to date again, she finds herself becoming interested in broader societal issues, including recent lawsuits involving Tinder and OkCupid. Sales acknowledges her own privilege as a white woman and explores how dating apps reinforce misogyny and racism and emphasize appearance above all else. Her book is especially valuable in its refusal to accept social scripts related to women's aging bodies; it might strip away some of the apprehension women have about using technology in smart and safe ways. VERDICT Refreshingly candid throughout, Sales's memoir and investigation of the history of love and intimacy will engage readers who have found themselves dating later than they expected.--Emily Bowles, Lawrence Univ., WI

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