The Conscious Heart

July 31, 1997
Considering relationships as opportunities for spiritual development, the Hendrickses (Conscious Loving), veteran psychotherapists, offer seven "soul commitments" to facilitate the process--for example, "I commit to the full expression of my creativity, and to inspiring the full creative expression of those around me." They link seven stages of evolving relationships, or "waves of spiritual growth and awareness," to seven "soul choices" (involving generosity, authenticity, balance, wonder, play, gratitude and creativity) in order "to create genuine intimacy." The underlying tenets expressed by the authors seem sound, but the examples given are often drawn from their own relationship, and as a result the book seems, at times, self-absorbed. One chapter is devoted to an incident in which Gay finds himself attracted to another woman and seems quite surprised when Kathlyn, even after rational discussion ("Would she object strongly to my having a sexual relationship with Kristin?"), loses several pounds and blames herself in anguish. Undoubtedly, some readers will respond to this first-person approach, however, and to the other examples of life's transitions and growth opportunities drawn from the Hendrickses' practice.