Goodbye to Shy

June 5, 2006
Many of Lowndes's potential readers may "shy" away from her relentlessly perky, exclamatory tone and use of terms like Shys (for shy folks) and Sures (for extroverts). Which is too bad, because much of her advice is sensible and based on desensitization techniques, or graduated exposure, therapists use in treating shyness and social phobia. The book is a mixture of confessional by a formerly shy author (How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You)
and no-nonsense guide. Lowndes cites scientific findings, such as that shy people feel continually judged by others at public events, which they remember as more negative than they were. Lowndes advises writing down one's immediate impressions after a social event. "If you later remember anything negative..., go back and check your notes. If that embarrassing or disappointing moment isn't in your notes, forget it.
It didn't happen." She also offers useful advice, such as how to tolerate holding eye contact with strangers. Chapter titles like "How to Handle a Past Bummer" seem meant to appeal to younger readers, but the tone clashes with Lowndes's sometimes dated personal stories. Her great eureka–"I'm not shy anymore" moment takes place in the Playboy Club, where she dons bunny ears.