Found in Transition

July 15, 2020
A mother's experience raising a transgender child. In this engrossing and sometimes heart-wrenching account, pediatrician Hassouri describes Ava's (formerly Aydin) transition from male to female with approachable, empathetic language that bridges gaps in understanding about the transition process. The author's unflinching honesty about her initial ignorance regarding trans issues is refreshing, and her unwavering adherence to truth makes the story both compelling and edifying. "Dear God or Universe...if he really is a girl," she writes, "please let me one day look at him and see my daughter, see her in my heart as who she is, not as the boy that I carried and nursed and raised and lost, but just as my beautiful daughter." Early on, Hassouri carefully lays out the reasoning behind the language she uses throughout the book, highlighting the crucial nuances involved in pronouns and names. By doing so, the author forces readers to interrogate their thoughts about terminology, setting the stage for the rest of her story. Throughout, Hassouri makes things clear and understandable. Always candid about her struggles ("despite the pride I felt, I continued to alternate between periods of grief and acute anxiety"), she explores the whirlwind of emotions that Ava and her family navigated before, during, and after her transition. Eventually, Ava began to develop confidence in her new identity. "All I ever wanted to do in high school was disappear into the background and draw as little attention to myself as possible," writes the author. "Ava was not afraid. She put herself a little more out there every day. Stares in the hallways and whispers as she passed were not going to stop her." Hassouri's book joins a thankfully expanding canon on parenting transgender children; for readers seeking a firsthand look at everything that entails, the author offers a moving and relatable story of love and heartache. A unique parenting story that has plenty to say about families in general.

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