Conflicted

November 23, 2020
Journalist Leslie (Born Liars: Why We Can’t Live Without Deceit) sheds light on disagreement in this encouraging take on the reasons communication tends to break down in conflict. Arguments often go poorly, Leslie writes, due to the high emotions at play: conflict is “nearly always entangled with how we feel about each other.” He studies professionals who manage “high-stakes adversarial conversations,” such as therapists and hostage negotiators, and examines the way power and status impact emotional response: an attack, for instance, is a way of “asserting status.” He also surveys how cultural differences can impact disagreements, drawing on the standoff between the FBI and the religious Branch Davidians in 1993: the FBI could not “see its own culture” in contrast to the Davidians, who believed their leader was chosen by God; this “failure of imagination” meant they could not negotiate effectively. On the advice front, Leslie teaches readers how to spot artificial rage inflation on social media and establish a relationship of trust in which disagreements can be fruitful, and makes a case for civility as a mean to grease the wheels of a conversation. Leslie succeeds in framing disagreements as a source of creativity with the potential to deepen interpersonal understanding. The result is a thoughtful, thought-provoking guide to getting along even when doing so might seem impossible. Agent: Toby Mundy, TMA.

December 18, 2020

Can conflict draw people together? According to Leslie (Curious: The Desire To Know and Why Your Future Depends on It), conflict can create positive energy among members of the parties involved or individuals expressing their own ideas. Leslie demonstrates various approaches through easy-to-follow diagrams and real-life examples. The prologue is interesting. Chapters are a bit lengthy as they are filled with enough information to make readers want to pause and take note. The book is not only useful for business buffs, but for anyone interested in having meaningful, collaborative conversations with successful outcomes. The contents are a wealth of guidance for even seasoned professionals in the field of conflict management. The toolkit for productive argument is a major highlight of this book, but the examples can be lengthy and may take the reader a little off track. VERDICT Recommend for anyone, as readers do not have to be in the field of conflict management to enjoy this book. For fans of Robert Hunt's Mastering Confrontation: Become an Expert at Effective Communication. Master the Art of Dealing with Conflict.--Adesh Rampat, Miami

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