Guiding Your Child Through Grief

January 3, 2000
"When death occurs in a family, all hell breaks loose," note the Emswilers, founders and directors of The Cove, a program for grieving children and their families, and of the New England Center for Loss & Transition. Beginning with the wrenching tale of how James lost his first wife to an unexpected heart attack, the book is threaded with his own personal experience in helping himself and his three children navigate through their shared grief, as well as with the firsthand accounts of others. The book's eminent practicality and compassionate, down-to-earth tone make it an invaluable handbook: from dealing with the initial shock to identifying typical reactions to death by age group and achieving the "three goals" of family grieving: reestablishing stability, acknowledging the experience of loss individually and collectively, and supporting each member in his or her efforts to start growing again. The authors provide comfort through frank communication, sagely noting that grief education is often neglected because of "the misconception that the more kids know, the more they'll experience." They also discuss the special challenges of remarrying and of step-parenting grieving children (which the Emswilers have done successfully). Tips for school personnel, health-care professionals and a suggested age-appropriate reading list round out the volume. Thoroughly researched and bolstered with the wisdom of bereavement experts nationwide, this fine guide does those working through the loss of loved ones an enormous service. It should rank amongst the first line of defense and support for those facing a death in the family.

August 9, 2000
Although other excellent books have been published about grief in childhood, including Earl A. Grollman's Bereaved Children and Teens (LJ 8/95), in light of Columbine and other recent tragedies it seems appropriate for two new books to revisit this issue. The Grieving Teen is written specifically for teenagers. Fitzgerald, an expert in grief counseling and the author of The Mourning Handbook, communicates the issues clearly without oversimplifying or resorting to "teenspeak." Chapters consist of typical questions that young adults may have about grief, followed by a "What You Can Do" section. The topics covered include such contemporary issues as death from AIDS, posttraumatic stress disorder, and Internet support. Fitzgerald provides many real-life experiences and a true sensitivity to differing religious and cultural practices.

Copyright 2000 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.