Cartwheels in a Sari

January 19, 2009
Tamm's parents met in the Manhattan apartment of the guru Sri Chinmoy and quickly married each other at his insistence; when they violated his commandment not to have sex with each other, however, he regrouped by declaring that their daughter, Tamm, would become his greatest disciple. The cult leader was a skilled manipulator, and Tamm's descriptions of her internalization of his predation, constantly blaming herself for not feeling worshipful enough, are wrenching. The outward pressures were equally difficult: she was forbidden a college education and sent abroad when she was caught violating the cultwide ban on dating—and the first time she was banished from the group, she begged for readmittance. Tamm, now in her late 30s and a professor at Ocean County College in New Jersey, is unsparing in her account of the psychological damage Sri Chinmoy inflicted on her and her family, from her parent's loveless marriage to her half-brother's gleeful acceptance of the role of the guru's enforcer. She reveals the difficulties in shaking off the guru's influence—under which she had spent literally her entire life before her final expulsion—and though readers might wish to hear more about how she eventually regained her identity, the harrowing details of her story create a sense of emotional devastation that will linger.

March 15, 2009
Personal account of growing up in the cult founded by Indian guru Sri Chinmoy.

Tamm (English/Ocean County Coll.) recounts the story of her childhood in a family dedicated to Chinmoy's spiritual community in Queens, N.Y., beginning with her parents'"divine marriage" in 1969. Although intended as a celibate union, her mother soon became pregnant. Chinmoy determined that the child was a special soul, destined to play a privileged role within the meditation center. As a girl, Tamm's life was shaped profoundly by this"myth of [her] birth" and by the unique status that it conferred on her. She recaptures her youthful struggles to understand the center's secretive, emotionally repressive world, and to negotiate her relationship with the outside world of mainstream America, primarily experienced through the public-school system. Written in straightforward, unadorned prose, there are occasionally comic accounts of Tamm's pre-adolescent sexual awakenings and of her dawning consciousness of the guru's complex relationships with some of his nubile young disciples. The author wryly reflects on Chinmoy's strategies of manipulation and self-aggrandizement and provides sobering details of her mother's late abortion and of the personal betrayal that caused Tamm's exile to France and eventual departure from the community. The author also offers passing references to the world figures and celebrities who passed through the meditation center, including Susan Sarandon, Princess Diana and former tennis star Steffi Graf. Because Tamm focuses tightly on the interior world of a young woman, she pays less attention to the larger cultural context of Chinmoy and his celebrity appeal.

An earnest memoir of an exceptional childhood.

(COPYRIGHT (2009) KIRKUS REVIEWS/NIELSEN BUSINESS MEDIA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.)

April 15, 2009
In this frank, clear-eyed memoir, Tamm recounts her youth as the chosen disciple of Sri Chinmoy, the wildly charismatic leader of a New Yorkbased spiritual sect that counts celebrities and heads of nations among its millions of followers. All of my childhood memories involve trying to obey and please guru, Tamm writes, and with concise, absorbing detail, she describes her early years, spent playing board games such as Disciple Chutes and Ladders (Did not meditate soulfullyGo back ten spaces); her chaste but forbidden teen encounters with guys, after which the Guru reminds her, The Supreme is your eternitys boyfriend; and a young-adult crisis that leads to a suicide attempt and, ultimately, her break with the cult. Tamm never sensationalizes the facts, and her narrative restraint only intensifies the emotional impact of each incident. Witty, compassionate, and often heartbreaking, Tamms story offers crucial insight into a cults inner workings and methods of indoctrination. All readers, though, will recognize universal coming-of-age themes as Tamm discards unwanted childhood lessons and begins to shape an independent adult life.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2009, American Library Association.)