Magic Words

October 29, 2001
Devised and gathered by two longtime friends, Kaminsky (ex-publisher of three major publishing houses) and ex-Self
editor Penney (How to Make Love to a Man), "magic words" (resonant phrases and mantras one can repeat to oneself or to others) provide a handy way to access modern folk wisdom. Each phrase is illustrated with vignettes. Saying "it's thimble time," for example, reminds readers to protect themselves from small annoyances, just as a real thimble protects against pin pricks. "Why am I smiling when I feel angry as hell?" suggests that repressing feelings has its costs. "Get your ego out of it"—borrowed from a psychiatrist—advises backing off from certain confrontations. Asking "Are you actually yelling at me?" can work to defuse an abusive supervisor, while "I'm mystified" can smooth out an uncomfortable situation without rancor. "Let's quit while we're behind" encapsulates the decision to cut your losses, and "this is a pewter opportunity" implies that an imperfect chance may well be worth taking. In the realm of universal advice, "handle with flair" reminds readers to elevate the mundane, and "time is honey," the authors' final phrase, puts a jujitsu twist on the grim "time is money." As with most fable-tinged advice, these words may seem to contradict (there's advice on ultimatums and on second chances), but this remains an entertainingly effective package.