You Just Don't Understand

June 5, 1990
Georgetown University linguistics professor Tannen here ponders gender-based differences that, she claims, define and distinguish male and female communication. Opening with the rationale that ignoring such differences is more dangerous than blissful, she asserts that for most women conversation is a way of connecting and negotiating. Thus, their parleys tend to center on expressions of and responses to feelings, or what the author labels ``rapport-talk'' (private conversation). Men, on the other hand, use conversation to achieve or maintain social status; they set out to impart knowledge (termed ``report-talk,'' or public speaking). Calling on her research into the workings of dialogue, Tannen examines the functioning of argument and interruption, and convincingly supports her case for the existence of ``genderlect,'' contending that the better we understand it, the better our chances of bridging the communications gap integral to the battle of the sexes.

Cultural differences compound gender polarities in people's attempts to communicate verbally. When we can learn to understand the different "languages" spoken to us, we can avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings never intended by the speaker. Barbara Rosenblat treats this scholarly work as though it were, itself, a conversation among colleagues. Her widely acclaimed expertise in creating fictional characters serves well in Tannen's many examples of dialogue among and between adults and children and among people of different socio-geographical cultures. In the narrative passages, Rosenblat clearly "gets" what the author is trying to say, and makes sure we "get it" too. Her engaging tone perfectly matches Tannen's convincing text. R.P.L. (c) AudioFile 2003, Portland, Maine