A Different Kind of Perfect

September 11, 2006
While all parents worry about their offspring, parents of children with special needs face a unique set of challenges that is served well by this touching collection. The conflicting emotions and frustrating dilemmas of raising special needs kids are well represented by more than 50 short essays; parents will find honest confessions that are wrenching, warming and probably familiar. "Why make a birthday cake when she can't blow out the candles, make a wish or eat a piece of cake?" laments one mom in the section on "Depression"; another, in the "Love and Joy" section, is taken by surprise by her own happiness: "The sun is shining, the day is brand-new, my child is humming, and God is so good!" Divided at first into sections based on the emotional journey of parents of special needs children, essays on such topics as "Denial," "Anger," "Acceptance" and "Empowerment" give way to takes on "Marriage, family and friends," "Spirituality" and "Laughter," and include practical advice ("Don't Always Trust the 'Experts'"), philosophical musing ("The Kaledoscope of Our Life"), straight encouragement ("Dance Recitals Are Still Possible") and life lessons ("We Take Nothing for Granted"). Though this text is not for parents who are expecting, it makes a valuable, readable, tear-jerking resource for parents raising a special needs child.

Starred review from August 15, 2006
Compiled by a psychologist and two parents of special needs children, this work collects writings about the experiences and challenges by parents of physically and mentally disabled children. There are four to six essays on each theme (e.g., grief, denial, or anger); the conditions discussed include those apparent at birth (Down syndrome and cerebral palsy), at an early age (vision or hearing impairment), and at a later age (autism and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder). The essays reveal deeply personal issues, such as the loss of the ideal or -perfect child, - marital stress, the need to advocate constantly for services, and the nagging fear that the parents could have caused the child's disability. Through these sincere accounts, we see both the strain on the parents and the potential of the children, best demonstrated by a mother's realization that Down syndrome will not prevent her dream of watching her daughter at a dance recital. Strongly recommended for all public libraries and academic libraries with parenting or disabilities collections." -Corey Seeman, Kresge Business Administration Lib., Univ. of Michigan, Ann Arbor"

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